Akatsuki in their Free Time
by blondebaka-chan
Summary: Yet another wonderful Monday morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the Akatsuki are smashing their alarm clocks to peices...wait back up. Akatsuki fans read here! please read n review k? COMPLETE!
1. typical sunday morning

The bright orange sun was rising steadily. The sky was red and the animals were waking up to the new day. In the background the lion king song could be heard...(sound of tape dying)

"TOBI! I'm gunna fuckin sacrifice you to Janshin-sama!"!

"Nooo don't hurt Tobi. Tobi is a good boy, Tobi can't die yet!"

"AAAARRRRG! So annoying! I'm gunna blow you up when we get out of this cave, yeah!"

"Fine with me, he stole ALL of my sake!"

"Bakas."

"What do want for dinner? I'll buy anything as long as it's cheap."

"I WANT TO EAT YOU! _You can't eat him, he's my friend_!"

"Geez, boys are such idiots."

"If you don't shut up right now, I'll turn you into a puppet!"

"Like you could, yeah" (murmered)

"I heard that!"

"Bastards, aren't we meant to be killing someone? Janshin-samas gettin pissed."

"I have money to collect."

"Hm? Itachi, you look bored, wanna have some sake?"

"No, I am not an alcoholic."

"Tobi will have some sake! Tobi likes sake."

"Can we get another female member? It gets boring being the only girl."

"I'M GOING TO FIND SOME DINNER._ what? But I'm not hungry!"_

"So much for the meeting, Itachi make sure they don't kill eachother. Allright everyone dismissed!"

all: "YES!"

"pardon?"

all:" Sorry leader-sama"

"I'm not sorry, bastard!"

The sun had finally risen above the clouds as the lion king song came to end... Until next time.


	2. movie night

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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We enter a dark room and zoom in to the T.V. On the small screen there was a picture of puppets doing something that shouldn't really be mentioned. Suddenly the theme tune began as the movie ended. "Team America, Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah!"(theme tune) A few mins of this, the screen went black.

"Well, that was fuckin disturbing. What we gunna watch now?"

"Blow something up, yeah!"

"Tobi wants to watch Bambi! Tobi likes Bambi!"

"I'm gunna go get some sake. Kakuzu, where's your wallet?"

"You are not spending my money! I need it to buy a bigger T.V!"

"DIE! T.V DIE! How dare you make puppets look retarded!"

"I WANT TO EAT THE GIRL! _What? You can't eat her she's crap at doin it_!"

"I can't believe I agreed to watch that with you guys! It's gross!"

"...I'm going to bed."

"So your not gunna have some sake?"

"No"

"I told you not to take my money! Now you will give me your heart!"

"NOOOO! Don't hurt Kisame, Tobi doesn't want to see him die!"

"I'll go get Janshin-sama! This is gunna be fuckin awesome!"

"I CAN EAT THE BODY!_ no! That would taste horrid, besides I don't like shark"_

"I'll get my clay, yeah!"

"AAARRG! Why won't the T.V die already?" (trying to strangle the T.V)

"I need a brake. Maybe I should find an all girls club instead of staying here."

"No konan, don't go. I need at least one sane person here."

All: "EEEHH? Leader-sama you were here the whole time?"

"Yes. And I not impressed with your killing skills. Kisame has run away."

All: "huh? But he's right here! (all look on the floor and see a load of smoke in the shape of Kisame) WHAT! HE GOT AWAY! GET HIM!"

"Why were killing him, un?"

"Cuz Janshin-sama got bored."

Meanwhile Kisame is sitting in a tree having some sake. "I wonder if they'll find me"

The T.V switches it's self back on, Sasori jumps away from it in shock as the theme tune continues "team America, FUCK YEAH!"

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**LOL hope you like it! By the way if you have seen the movie of Team America please tell me. I thought it was hilarious! Lol oh and if anyone has any ideas for random conversations please tell me!**


	3. feels like monday morning

Yet another wonderful Monday morning. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and the Akatsuki are smashing their alarm clocks to peices...wait back up. (sound of tape rewinding)

"Who the fuck put this fuckin clock in my fuckin room?!"

"Tobi did! Tobi wanted Hidan-san to make Tobi waffles!"

"We don't have waffles. They're too expensive."

(massive explosion) "that'll teach you to wake me up so early, yeah!"

"Samaheda, tear it to shreds! Show no mercy! Do it for the sake!"

"I WON'T EAT IT, IT MAKES ME VIBRATE! _Why do you have to spare the only thing that I agree to eat? Are you doing it to annoy me?"_

"Boys are bakas. You could just go back to sleep ya know."

"Why not just turn the clocks off and go on the missions I gave you. I need to have a word with Konan. (smirk)"

"I would turn Tobi into a puppet.... but I can't be bothered to get out of bed." (hits the snooze button and flops back onto the floor with a thump. He forgot that he was already out of bed.)

"....Tobi, go back to bed and take the clocks with you. Even I think it's too early to get out of bed."

TWO HOURS LATER

"What the fuck? Why is the fuckin thing still ringing?!"

"Turn it off moron. What a waste of money."

"Tobi thinks that Hidan-san and Kakuzu-san should stop using mean words now."

"Ok, since I'm up so early, how about you tell me where you hid my sake?"

"Your too load, yeah. Why can't you go rape someone in corner, yeah....quietly?"

"I don't need a corner..."

"He has my bed."

"I did not need to know that."

"CAN I EAT TOBI? No! Tobi is a good boy, you can't eat my old student!"

When everyone finally calmed down, the sun began to disappear as the birds came flying back home. (having flown away from the explosions and colourful language) The Akatsuki sat chatting happily as they watched the large fire burn the clocks (some still ringing) to ashes.


	4. Summer holiday begins!

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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**It's the beginning of the summer holidays and everyone had abandoned their villages to go to the beach. The waves were gently lapping over the soft sand, the girls were running away and the boys had refused to go saying that they would be invading the girl's privacy. Once the beach finally cleared there stood the Akatsuki. Most of them were wearing T-shirts and all of them wore either trousers or shorts. They looked like completely normal people...for the time being anyway.

"Tobi is a good boy, so why did the girls run away?"

"It might have something to do with the fucking rubber duck you brought, you little bastard! What kind of a rubber duck ring has sharingan eyes huh?"

"Hey look a sake bar!"

"I can't believe I let you get a hold of my wallet."

"We had to bribe leader-sama with something."

**"I HATE THE BEACH!** _But it's pretty...I like it"_

"Why did you buy me a bikini? I shouldn't be wearing this without Pein around...he'll get jealous."

"I don't like the beach, everything goes too slow"

"Oh come on, mm. We have the whole beach to ourselves, there's plenty to do, yeah!"

"All right! Who wants to have a swimming race?"

**"I WILL EAT YOUR ASS**!_ It's 'I'll _kick_ your ass'...not eat"_

"Tobi will race! Tobi is a good swimmer!"

"I'll kick your fucking balls if you win, ya hear me you money fucking bastard?"

"I will beat you as payback for using my money and...I would gladly take on that nickname."

"I didn't want to hear that. I will beat you Deidara."

"Ha! Like you could old ma... puppet! I'll beat you, and Uchiha, yeah!"

"...Hn..."

TWO MINS LATER

"I won! Free sake for me!"

"That doesn't count! Your a fuckin fish shark face!"

"I will get my revenge!"

"Ha! I'm winning yeah! (Throws bomb) Take that, yeah!"

"You can't win if I pull you back with my chakra strings!"

"...Tsukuyomi."

(all the others stop and try to hide the nosebleeds)_ I wonder what illusion he used... *cough*_

"I come second." (Others stop drawling)

"WHAT?"

"hn"

"DIE UCHIHA!"

And with that the beach became a battlefield. Puppets came out of nowhere, tentacles found their way around Tobi's neck, Zetsu was fighting with himself (unsuccessfully) Itachi and Kisame were trying not to laugh, Konan was texting Pein and Deidara was bombarding everyone and everything within his sight radius with his artistic bombs. Pein could hear Tobi's scream from the base...

"...Shocker..."

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**I hope you liked it. If you didn't find it very funny please tell me. And if you have any ideas for the next chapter tell me that too k? Oh, and I'm still attempting to make a chapter about Kakuzu and his money (great idea someone gave me ^^) ok? So if you have any tips of how I could start it off let me know. Oh and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Perdy pwease? I love reviews lol ans thanks to those that have faved this and commented ^^ bai bai**


	5. You Stole My Money!

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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It was freezing cold in the land of snow and everyone was at home drinking hot chocolate by the fire. However the Akatsuki were not so lucky. They were dragging their feet through the snow, each muttering chains of curses under their breaths while holding onto a sack full of their personal belongings. All of them were obviously angry with the current situation, except for a certain orange masked member.

"Tobi...as soon as we get to the new base... I. Will. Fuckin. KILL YOU!"

"WHAT? No you can't hurt Tobi! Tobi only wanted a bigger base!"

"Yes but you could have waited for the snow to stop before getting one."

"I can't believe you made me leave my sake behind. How do you think the sake feels, being abandoned like that, huh?"

"_There's not many people in the land of snow_. **WHAT? I'LL STARVE!**"

"You should all thank Tobi for finding the money to pay for this base."

"Yeah especially since it has a room with a double bed in it... (giggles)"

"This sucks, hm! There's nothing to blow up around here at all, how am I gunna practice my art, yeah?"

"I don't mind moving... I'll get a bigger room for my puppets."

AWKWARD SILENCE

"... Why are you biting your cloak Tobi?"

"I know why. The little idiot is waiting for me to attack... EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS HE DESERVES IT AFTER STEALING. ALL. MY MONEY!"

"He what? So if he hadn't stolen the money, and bought the new base... I wouldn't be out in the fuckin snow right now! Forget about waiting, you can die RIGHT NOW!"

_"Yay Hidan! You managed to figure it out._ **HE STATED THE OBVIOUS... I'LL LET HIM KILL TOBI SINCE, HE SWORE ON MY GRAVE."**

"You guys can't kill Tobi yet, I still need my revenge for the last time he stole my sake."

"I need to kill him since he's the one who annoys me even more than Uchiha, yeah!"

"He helped me find my puppet arm...so I guess he doesn't deserve to die...yet."

"I would like to keep him alive...he was my ex after all."

Oo "In that case... I order you to kill him NOW!"

"But Tobi didn't steal, he borrowed! Cuz Tobi is a good boy! Don't kill me please?"

"SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY, PUMPKIN HEAD!"

The rest of the day consisted of the sound of bombing, Tobi screaming franticly, Zetsu attempting to persuade himself to help his old student, Kakuzu rambling on about his poor money and Hidan swearing like hell. At the end of the day Tobi was lying on the ground with a "few" broken bones, while the rest of the members secretly congratulated the two angry men for managing to almost kill the poor boy. Pein just sat in the snow trying to convince himself that konan and Tobi hadn't gone _that_ far before breaking up.

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**Well I hope it's okay. I tried my best to make it as funny/good as possible. I want to thank everyone who faved or reviewed and I would like to give special thanks to Rypper95 for the awesome idea! ^^ I really hope I made it good enough and if I didn't, tell me and I will try again. Lol well hope it is good enough and please don't forget to review and thanks again for the awesome idea! ^^ sorry for the long update too ^^**


	6. Hidan and the hotdog

**Hi everyone! I'm back! Well as you know I DO NOT own Naruto and I don't own this idea either. ^^**

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The numbers counted down from 5 to 1 as the movie began. The room had been reserved so no one was there. The people who reserved it were still outside deciding what they wanted to eat.

"I want a hotdog...and make sure it's a fuckin big one too!"

"I'd like a large bottle of sake please!"

"I'll have some nachos, yeah!"

"I don't want anything. What will you have Sasori?"

"How can I eat if I'm a puppet?"

"He has a point. _I'll have a dick on a stick_...sausage with a stick so I don't get my hands greasy, please."

"_I'll eat_...**YOU! **_what? No! I'm turning vegetarian remember?_ **WTF? SINCE WHEN?"**

"Tobi will have a popcorn, candy, crisps, soda, oh and that giant lollipop over there!"

"WHAT? That's too much! Don't you know how expensive food from the cinema is? It's LOADS of money! MY MONEY! If you want to buy all that junk food use your own money for once!"

"Hn, Tobi has no money."

"Does that mean you won't buy me nachos, yeah?"

"You better buy me my sake!"

"If you don't get me a big hotdog, I'll rip off your fucking stitched up face off, to see how you like it! And trust me it hurts like fuckin hell!"

"**I WILL EAT YOU IF YOU DON'T BUY ME SOME MEAT!**_ I can't eat meat! I told you I'm a veggie now remember?"_

I still want my dic... I mean, I would like a sausage... with a stick. Please."

"I will gladly get Konan what she wants, but kakuzu will have to buy everyone else's snacks."

"WHAT? Why are you being so mean to me leader-sama? I love my money; I don't want to part with it! Please get someone else to pay."

"Hn, the whole point of having money is so that you can spend it."

"FINE! I'll buy you all your precious snacks but don't blame me when you all get fat and your teeth fall out. It'll be your fault for not taking care of yourselves."

"...He sound like my dad, yeah." (whispers to sasori)

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Yay! Tobi is very happy now!"

And so the Akatsuki arrived half way through the movie. Kakuzu was muttering about his precious money being spent on a load of snacks, Zetsu was trying to stop himself from eating the large piece of stake they had managed to find, Hidan was eating his hotdog rather slowly with an evil look in his eyes and Konan and Pein... well they went to get that sausage. Itachi was sitting at the back shaking his head as Tobi continually whined about the fact that Kakuzu had refused to buy him the giant lollipop. (mainly because it was a piece of cardboard that was used to lure in customers) And finally at the end of the movie Sasori and Deidara laughed like hell at the drunken Kisame who was attempting to walk through the door, but kept failing miserably. (he kept walking into the wall instead)

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**haha Well I really hope you like it. Thanks TONS for the reviews! And just so you know TobiGB gave me this idea so thanks loads to you for giving me the idea! I hope it's good enough but if it not i can always try and write it again k? lol so yeah please review ppelz and thanks for faving and reading and reviewing this random series! XD btw see if you can get what Hidan was thinking of while eating the hotdog, or of what Pein and Konan were up to. Also you have to feel sorry for Kakuzu cuz this is the second chapter that I've made him spend so much money. XD well that it so please review and hope you like it (if you don't then tell me) kk so ja ne mina-san! ^^**


	7. Sad memories

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

**This is a random sad chapter because I was really bored and upset when I wrote it. ^^**

**It's probably really confusing and I'll probs delete it later cuz I only posted it cuz I had nothing else to do XD  
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It was a miserable day. The sky was covered by a blanket of dark clouds and the rain was hammering on the roof of the new base. The Akatsuki sat around the one tiny window, taking turns to sigh with boredom.

"Why did it have to rain? My puppets are going to get wet and the wood will rot! They'll look awful."

"Stop moaning. You're not the only one with problems ya'know. I can't blow anything up in the rain, it sucks, yeah!

"You two stop moaning, relax, watch the rain and have some sake. Rain isn't that bad, I don't see what all the fuss is about."

"You don't mind the rain cuz you're a fuckin shark! I HATE the rain. Janshin-sama doesn't like to have soggy sacrifices, it's fuckin disrespectful!"

"Where is Itachi? He should be here to give me information on the kyuubi, by now."

"He's out in the rain crying, poor boy."

"Why is Itachi-san sad? Tobi will go cheer him up! Tobi is good at cheering people up!"

**"NO. YOU'RE ONLY GOOD AT ANNOYING PEOPLE!** _Shhhh! Don't say that he's get upset!_ **BUT IT'S TRUE!"**

"Itachi shouldn't be so selfish. Instead of crying for some unknown reason, he should be mourning the loss of my poor money"

"He has many reasons to cry. I cried for days after I left my village."

"But that's because you had been forced to leave your puppets at home, yeah. I cried when I left because I didn't have a choice, yeah! I had been made out to look like such a fool...yeah..."

"You're all a load of fuckin cry babies! I didn't cry at all! I was happy about leaving everything behind!"

"Knowing you, you would have sworn even more than usual, _if that's possible_, instead of getting all upset."

"Shut up! I was swearing so much cuz I was so fuckin happy to be out of that shitty little village!"

"Well, it seems you all have issues. Why leave you're village if you're just gunna get all upset about it? I wasn't sad at all; as long as I have my sake with me I'm fine."

**"IF I STOLE YOU'RE SAKE, I BET YOU'D CRY ENOUGH TO MAKE ANOTHER OCEAN.**_ Don't be so mean! I've seen YOU cry enough to water a whole greenhouse!_ **THAT WAS YOU IDIOT! **..._was it_...?

"(sigh) would you all just shut up? I want to watch the rain in peace..."

"... Nagato, are you?..."

"Yeah. I miss him."

ALL: (loud sigh) "so bored... (yeah)."

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**Okay so that you like it please review even if it isn't a good review. lol I going to try to do a chapter based on Iatchi next because I've been writing the last twwo chapters on Kakuzu and his money obsession. XD So if anyone has any ideas for a funny chapter, and would like me to write it up then please tell me ^^ I'm sorry if my last few chapter havn't been that great. okay well that it so, ja ne mina-san! ^^ **


	8. Weasels idea from Itachi's Only Love

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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It was a windy day in the land of wind. The streets were empty and most of the stores had been closed early. Itachi and Kisame were walking down the street with a bag of sake in hand, neither of them looking very happy.

"Why did Leader-sama steal all my sake? I think he's trying to punish me for failing to catch that kyuubi brat again."

"...It was his birthday and Konan challenged him to a drinking contest. You know how he is when it comes to his pride as a god."

"Yeah but still, why didn't he just have water in a sake bottle like last time?"

"...Because Konan offered him a special birthday treat..."

"... oh, GROSS!"

Itachi sighed as Kisame began to mimic puking sounds. _He really can be very immature. _Itachi looked back to the street ahead expecting it to be empty. But instead he saw an adorable little weasel looking up at him. A small frown found its way onto his face.

"Hey look Itachi, a weasel!"

"...hn." Suddenly the weasel burst into black flames and Kisame watched it squirm around and burn with a look of sympathy in his eyes. Itachi just stood there with his red eyes swirling, a satisfied look on his face when the creature dropped dead.

"What did you do that for?"

"...It was mocking me."

**"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BURN IT**! _I am NOT going to eat that thing!_ **WELL I AM!** _No! You're me so you're not_! **...YOU'RE ME, SO I'M, NOT...?** _Nevermind, Just forget it!_ **OKAY!"**

"Where did you come from?"

"Tobi wanted him to come for a walk!" Suddenly all the Akatsuki members (minus Leader and Konan) appeared out of nowhere.

"I somehow got dragged along too, yeah."

"I came looking for an arm. The so called 'artist' over there decided to blow it off."

"I came to make sure you didn't buy too much sake, since it's MY money..."

"I didn't feel like watchin the two shitty love birds fuck on the sofa!"

"...A weasel, yeah!" Deidara pointed to a large growling weasel, while Itachi glared at it with all his might. Soon another weasel appeared, and another, and another... soon there was a whole pack of them! The akatsuki began to walk/run away from the evil weasels. Kisame and Itachi just stood there staring. A terifying thought crossed Kisame's mind...

"Get away from my sake you evil little buggers! If you try to even touch it, I'll kill you!" They blinked, then pounced on him, and began to bite his arms and legs. He screamed and tried his best to get them off of him, but to no avail. Itachi sighed in annoyance. The other Akatsuki members all peeked round the wall they were hiding behind and began to laugh at Kisame's rather girly screams.

"Who knew a shark could scream like a girl, yeah!"

"Oh! Tobi did! Tobi knew! Tobi heard him scream when he found a sake bottle under his pillow!"

"...freaky.""

The members took out their cameras and began to film the amusing scene. No doubt they would use it as blackmail against the poor sharkman. Itachi finally stopped glaring at the weasels and walked away back to base, completely forgetting about his poor partner. When he arrived at the base he dropped the sake on the table and walked into the kitchen to find something unknown. He then walked into Leader's office.

"Have you got the sake?"

"..hn, why did you send me to a weasel infested town?"

"hehe, punishment, plus I needed more sake." Itachi let his eyes swirl and he slowly lifted his arm towards Pein's face, a deadly looking magnet began to pull the piercings out of Pein's nose.

"NOOOO! Itachi, I order you to stop! Put that deadly thing away now!"

"...I do not appreciate being mocked by such evil ugly creatures. Apologize."

"Alright, alright! I'M SORRY! Now put the magnet down or else I'll find more weasels!" Itachi dropped his unusual weapon and walked out the open door. Leader sat at his desk fixing his piercing back to normal, shaking in fear of anything like that happening again in his life-time. _I'll to ban magnets from the base..._He heard the door close and looked up to see a beaten Kisame frowning down at him.

"What is it?"

"You... YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS!"

And with that the strange day came to an end. (a weasel pops out of nowhere and smiles innocently before clawing at the camera man)

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**Hi everyone! REALLY sorry for the long update! This chapter was set out a little differently from the others but hopefully It's still perdy funny. haha I'm going to write this in capitals to catch your attention k? THIS IS NOT MY IDEA! THIS IDEA BELONGS TO **_ITACHI'S ONLY LOVE_**! You should all go check out her profile k? XD Okay so like I've said before, if you have any ideas please let me know and I will do my best to write them up and make them very amusing. Before I forget THANKS TONS for the ideas so far! They've been awsome and I hope I've been able to make them readable. ^^**

**Please review or I will feel very unloved and sad k? THANKS FOR READING MINA-SAN!**


	9. Fear God!

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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It had been a few weeks since anything interesting had happened. After Kisame had attempted to rip Pein to shreds with Samaheda as payback, Pein had given him a long, tiring, boring solo mission as punishment. Kisame hadn't been too happy about it, but it was meant to be a punishment so it's not like it really mattered. Anyway since their not-so-new base was in the land of snow, they had been slacking off missions lately using the "We can't complete a mission if we've got a cold" excuse, so today Pein was going to punish the three slackers who had started the whole thing, by locking them all outside in the freezing snow. (he laughs evily)

LATER ON

"Oi! Let me in you fucking bastard! I swear I'm gunna rip you're fuckin head off after this!"

"If you say that, he won't let you back in, moron."

"Kakuzu is right. Leader-sama will let us back inside soon enough... and if he doesn't then I shall use my puppets to break in somehow."

"I thought you said you didn't like waiting?"

"I don't. When I say soon enough, I mean the next ten minutes."

Kakuzu sweat dropped. Hidan began to bang on the giant door loudly, screaming plenty of pathetic threats to Pein. After just five minutes of this Pein came storming out screaming at him shut up.

"Hidan, if you don't stop banging on the door right now, I will leave you out here to freeze! So shut up!"

"Like I fuckin care! I'm immortal you shit head!"

"Leader-sama I have been standing out here for who knows how long, and I would really like to go back inside now."

While Sasori was trying to get Pein to let them back in early, Tobi poked his head round the door from inside and smiled brightly under his mask. He giggled and shut the door loudly before shouting as loud as he could,

"April fools!"

"What the fuck? Its December you little shit! Open the door, or I'll burn every piece of candy we have!"

"NOOOOOOOO! Hidan can't hurt candy, Tobi won't let him!" And with that he locked the door from the inside. Pein looked like he was about to explode.

"Now look what you've done! I'm going to be late for my date with Konan! You should be afraid of God right now, VERY afraid!"

"I think I just became religious."

"Well unlike you, I am not intimidated by such a loud voice. I will never believe in Leader-sama's so called God theory."

"Theory? You think I, the all powerful sexy generous, peacemaking Pein, am NOT a God? You think it's just a THEORY!"

"... Sexy? Generous? Peacemaking, God?" Hidan fell to ground rolling in the snow clutching his sides as he laughed hysterically. Sasori was trying his best not to laugh while Kakuzu just slowly tried to back away from the ever angry "God". As Pein let steam fly out his ears and his face turn red Sasori made to make another comment,

"Leader-sama, I hate to be rude, but you could easily be mistaken for a bull at this moment."

"I agree. All we have to do is put Hidan in front of the door and hopefully Leader-sama would charge at him, knock his remaining brains out, and break the door open."

Hidan stopped laughing and looked at his comrade with a very frightful look. Sasori smiled and nodded as Kakuzu walked up to grab Hidan and put their plan into action. As soon as the glaring Hidan was in place, Sasori nodded,

"Leader-sama, this is all Hidan's fault. He's the one who came up with the excuse and told the others about it."

"He's also the one who got you to come out here in the first place. I truly believe that he is the one you should punish." Pein turned to Hidan and began to snarl at him. Kakuzu and Sasori stuck their tongues out and did a silent high-hive. As Pein charged, Hidan's face turned from scared to petrified and finally to the stage where he actually looked like he'd just pissed himself. Just when he thought he was about to die for the millionth time in his life, Pein swerved and ran through the door instead. Hidan fainted anyway as the other two sprinted inside before slamming the door shut once again, leaving a freezing and confused Hidan outside.

And so the day ended. Pein was happy with his punishment and Sasori and Kakuzu both decided to tell their friends what had happened. Kisame looked slightly sorry for Hidan, knowing how cruel his punishments were, but he laughed like hell anyway.

Until next time ^^

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**Hi every one! Sorry for long update again, I kept retyping it cuz I don't think it's very good compared to my other chapter. haha ^^' Anyway this time the idea was from _Rypper95_and I thought about TONS of things that could have happened to them but I couldn't actually type them up XD So thanks TONS to Rypper95 for another awsome idea! If it's not very good you can always ask me to try and type it up a bit better, I won't mind at all, cuz I don't think it that good anyway ^^ kk well that all for now so if anyone who reads this has any funny ideas and would like me to type them up, please let me know! I'll be sure to give credit too! Ja ne mina-san! ^^**

**oh and Please review! I have a boring and rather pathetic life so all I have to do all day, all week (other than school) is go on my laptop and wait for reviews, so perdy pwease REVIEW! ^^**


	10. Racist much?

**I do NOT own Naruto! Although I REALLY wish I owned Akatsuki! XD ^^**

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The Akatsuki stared at the smashed T.V and repeatedly pressed the non-working remote control. Itachi was leaning on the tipped up sofa while Kisame, Deidara and Hidan sat on other shredded sofa. Sasori, Kakuzu and Pein stood at the doorway having an intelligent conversation and Tobi was sitting on the floor playing barbies with Konan.

"Tobi wants to be the blonde one!"

"But they're all blonde. I'll be the purple one."

"... Tobi thinks you painted it with your nail varnish..."

"I did not!"

"I'm so bored, yeah! I want to blow something up but for once I can't be bothered, yeah."

"Okay so we can't blow up the base, so how about we have some sake instead?"

"Your sake obsession is pissin me off. Janshin-sama hates people who think more about sake than him."

"I don't care. I'm a Jew."

"WHAT?! Well you're not a very good Jew if you're putting sake before God, yeah!"

"...I'm joking, Deidara. I'm not religious I believe in science."

"... You fuckin heathen!!"

"At least he not a Jew, yeah."

"Will you guys shit up?! My favourite puppet just so happened to be a Jew!"

"(snickers) A rich black Jew."

"God does not like racism."

"No but God does like money."

"No, that just you. I the one peaceful god, likes blood and death and pain."

"Are you a vampire leader-sama?"

"(gasp) I could try to make a vampire puppet!"

"Hn, I doubt it would work. I don't know any vampires that exist."

"... Thanks for wrecking my cool idea. At least it was something to do."

"Hey guess what? Tobi is a Barbie girl!"

ALL: "OMFG! TOBI'S A (fuckin) GAY PORNO GIRL! (yeah)"

And so the Akatsuki burst into laughter while Tobi wondered what porno meant. In the end they all agreed that rich black jews are alot less freaky than Barbie gay blonde porno Barbie girls. Half way through the conversation Konan and Pein had disappeared, along with Barbie and Ken.

_"You might have noticed that I was not in this chapter._** THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS SCOFFIN A SQUI**..._they don't need to know that. Anyway we weren't included in this chapter because it was very racist, and if you havn't noticed..._ **WE'RE HALF BLACK HALF WHITE!** _yes ok so that is one reason the other reason was because_ **A YELLOW HEADED EDIBLE LOOKING BRAT CAME PAST SHOUTING BELIEVE IT!** _no! That's not the reason! anyway the other reason is because_ **I WAS STARIN AT THIS REALLY YUMMY LOOKING A..** _would you shut up? Okay never mind you don't need to hear the reason anymore. Bye everyone I'll be in the next chapter for sure!"_

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**HI mina-san. I'm raelly sorry if anyone who reads this a Jew or black or two toned or rich. I swaer you are all awsome people really...especially rich ppl cuz I money obsessed. Anyway I hope you liked it and perdy pwease comment/review! k? sorry I really was very racist and I missed out Zetsu-kun! JA NE MINA-SAN!**


	11. Zetsu's only fear is?

**I DO NOT own Naruto! TT_TT**

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The Akatsuki were standing at the giant gates of Thorpe park, looking mildly exited. Okay, so that was the biggest understatement ever! The whole of Akatsuki were laughing and daring each other to go on the worst ride, while running, no sprinting, through the gates and screaming and waving their arms around shouting 'whoop whoop'. Tobi was running from candy store to candy store practically buying each store he entered, Kisame went straight to the 'hook a fish' stand, Deidara was jumping up and down at the shooting stand, while shouting

"BANG BANG BANG, goes the cow, yeah!" and waving a gun around like a mad man. Zetsu and Itachi however, were still standing at the gate glaring at their partners with all their might.

**"I AM NOT GOING IN THERE!** _I wouldn't mind, as long as we stay clear from the roller coasters we're fine._ **IT'S NOT JUST THE ROLLER COASTER! IT'S THE BUMPER CARS, WATER SLIDES..."**

"And basically anything else that moves quickly."

**"SHUT UP**_... well it's true. _**I SAID SHUT UP, DIDN'T I?** _Yes, to Itachi. ..._ **HEY, WHY ISN'T ITACHI HAPPY TO BE HERE?"**

"I am not amused because I do not wish to ruin my repretation."

Meanwhile Deidara and Sasori were walking over to meet up with the others.

"Hey, can you imagine Itachi on a roller coaster, yeah?"

"...Yes I can, and it would be incredibly funny."

(Itachi sneezed)

(two hours later)

"Oi Kisame we're over here, yeah!"

"Oh there you are! So what should we do now? We've been on every ride in the park."

"I think we should leave. It's too expensive here, one pound fifty for a small bag of candy floss! It's a rip off I tell you, a RIP OFF!"

"I think Kakuzu hates rip offs."

"No shit puppet boy. I think we should go on the highest ride in the park, that way I could get so high up that I could pray to Janshin-sama without having to fuckin shout to him!"

"Tobi thinks that's a great idea! Tobi wants to go on that ride!" (points to ginormas ride that goes above the clouds)

"Fine with me yeah, but it won't be any fun without Itachi and Zetsu, yeah."

"HAHAHAHA! Great idea! Let's go get them, and some sake later too."

"For the first time in a long time... I just pictured something other than money."

"Did I hear right? Did the infamous money fucker just say that he thought of something other than a load of fuckin cash?"

"I believe so. Now let's go."

(later)

**"I WILL NEVER GO ON THAT THING!**_ You can't make us, you meanies! You know we're petrified of fast vehicles!_ **YEAH WHAT HE SAID!** _Did you just agree with me?_ **... I GUESS I DID...** **ANYWAY I'LL NEVER GO ON THAT THING! NEVER EVER EVER!**"

(hour later) Sasori and Deidara sat in the front screaming with their hands in the air, Kisame sat behind them laughing at Itachi's I-am-not-amused face, Kakuzu glared at Hidan who was trying to 'reach up to God'

"God, you better fuckin hear me now!" Konan and Pein sat behind them laughing.

"Of course I can hear you, Hidan, I'm right behind you."

"WTF? You're no fuckin God!" Behind Konan and Pein sat Tobi who was laughing, screaming and attempting to smile for the camera which, just happened to be the opposite way of which he was smiling. Zetsu sat next to him, holding onto the handle bar for dear life and looking very close to tears.

At the end of the ride the picture turned out hilarious. The thing that made it so funny was the sight of Itachi sitting with his arms crossed frowning and Zetsu screaming from fear as they went down the highest point of the ride. They both stuck out like sore thumbs.

"... **SO MUCH FOR YOUR REPUTATION."**

"hn, at least I'm not still shaking."

"Zetsu, Tobi thinks you should stop shaking now, we are almost back at the base you know."

**"YEAH BUT WE JUST HAD TO RIDE BACK ON A BUMPER CAR DIDN'T WE?** _Apparently so."_

And that is the end of the Akatsuki's trip to Thorpe park.

_"note to self: if I ever need to punish Zetsu, put him on a roller coaster."_

_

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_**Hi mina-san! Sorry this chapter is kinda short. I updated alot earlier than normal this week so I'm kinda proud with myself for that. XD Anyway THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA! This was an awsome idea that **xXPrincess-Of-RaNdOmNeSsXx **told me. I hope it's good/funny enough. If it not you can always tell me and I can rewrite it to make it better k? okay ppl so that all for now, like I said before if anyone has a good idea and would like to see it in this story thing, lol, tell me n I'll write it up for you as best as I can... oh and I also like to say a GREAT BIG THANKS to everyone who has given me ideas so far cuz all the idea were awsomated! XD well tht all for now JA NE MINA-SAN! ^^**

**Please review! I LOVE reviews n I'll never get tired of them! so REVIEW, REVIEW REVIEW! ^^**


	12. Itachi drunk! EDITED! a bit XP

**I DO NOT own Naruto!  
**

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The Akatsuki were currently sitting down at a large table at a pub named Go Wild. Zetsu was trying to stop himself from having a drinking contest against Tobi, Tobi was going hyper because this was first time he'd ever been allowed in a pub, Kakuzu was finding a place to hide his precious wallet, Hidan was swearing like it was the end of the world because the bar tender had taken away his drink saying he was too drunk, Sasori was sitting back in his chair with a glass of water in his hand watching Kisame pour something that looked rather familiar into Itachi's drink, and Deidara was trying to persuade Itachi to have the drink Kisame had just handed to him.

"Oh come on Itachi, have some fun for once, yeah!"

"No."

"(sigh) After I went through all the trouble to get you a non-alcoholic drink, you refuse to take my offer. Why, I'm insulted!"

"If I say that you either have to: have a fuckin drink or you'll be beaten shitless by ALL OF US will you have a drink?"

"... hn." They all watched carefully as Itachi took just one sip of his drink.

(seconds later)

"I feeL preetyyy!"

"... Kisame, just how strong was that alcohol?"

"It wasn't the alcohol, ..."

"Oh so preetyy!I feeel Peerddyy and Haaaaappy and GGAAAYYYY! Thank you! Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience!"

"... I seriously regret spiking his drink."

**"YOU DID WHAT?** _So that's why he's acting so strange."_

"TSUKUYOMI! DIE EVIL PERVERTS!... hn"

"I'm going to hide my money somewhere else in case he tries to find it."

"I think I'm the only one who noticed but, where's Hidan?" They all looked around the room lazily in a pathetic attempt to find him.

_"I can't find him._** I DON'T WANT TO FIND HIM!** _Why are you so mean?_ **CUZ I'M COOL!"** they all heard a sudden crash and they looked towards Tobi who was pointing at a shivering Hidan who was hiding under the now tipped over table.

"Tobi found Hidan!"

"Do my eyes do deceive me, or does Hidan look _scared_, yeah?"

"I'M NOT FUCKIN SCARED! I'M FUCKIN PETRIFIED, I SWEAR I'M GUNNA SHIT MY FUCKIN PANTS!"

"Why are you so scared Hidan?" At that moment Itachi decided to pounce at Hidan and glomp him to death.

"I want a hug Hidan-chaaan! I'm soooo sad, my poor brother is a dick! WAAA!" Hidan screamed and shoved Itachi off of him.

"T-that's why I'm so fuckin scared! Itachi is fuckin f-freakin me out!"

"I have to admit he is pretty freaky when he's drunk. I'll have to keep my sake away from him tomorrow." Itachi screamed and popped out from under a seat waving a black wallet around in the air.

"Hehehe, look what I found!" (sings it to Kakuzu) Kakuzu screamed and tried to grab his wallet out of Itachi's hand, while Deidara laughed like hell.

"hahahaha! I never thought I'd ever hear Itachi sing like a girl, yeah!"

"WOW! Hey Zetsu-chan, look! I found a rat for your dinner!" Zetsu turned around to find Itachi holding Kakuzu up by the ear.

"NO! Don't eat me, I don't taste good!" Zetsu growled and turned to Kisame with a look in his eyes that clearly said I'll-kill-you.

_"If you_ **EVER** _spike his drink again,_ **I** _will_ **KILL YOU,** _cuz there is_ **NO FREAKIN WAY I WILL EVER EAT A CHEAP BASTARD LIKE THAT!"** Kisame gave out a nervous laugh and sprinted for the door. Sasori watched as Kakuzu continued to try to get away from Itachi and Hidan went to find another table to hide behind. He took note that Deidara was laughing on the floor clutching his sides as Pein and Konan came in with a look of disgust, anger, fright and great confusion on their faces. He also made a mental note to stop Zetsu from eating Kisame later.

"... well, this has been an... interesting day."

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**Well that's the next chapter! I've been updating alot of chapters latley so I'm sorry if some people havn't been able to keep up. I'd like to say thanks TONS to everyone who has reviewed and a special thanks to those of you have been giving me ideas (and to the person who gave the best review EVER!) XD ok so THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA! This awsomated idea was from **_xX_Princess-Of-RaNdOmNeSsXx. **I hope I made it funny enough if I didn't tell me n I'll rewrite it k? XD I'm kinda repeatin what I say after every chapter but that because not everyone bothers to read what the writer says at the end. lol well that all for now I need to start workin on my next chapter to Missing Memories now so I might not update until next week now k? **

**PLEASE REVIEW! :D  
**


	13. Parody with Vampire Knight

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^ Just to explain, the Akatsuki were taking down the Sanbi when it pulled them into a dimansion of... VAMPIRE KNIGHTS! XD **

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The Akatsuki were staring at their surroundings in complete and utter horror. They had somehow been pulled into a different dimension where vampires and extremely obsessive fan girls lived in a strange school. They were standing at this humongous metal gate that was chained together with giant padlocks. Behind the gate they could see a school and two students in black walking round the school holding... weapons?

"They have pathetic looking weapons in this place. Puppets are much better than a staff."

"Never mind their shitty weapons, what's up with this fuckin giant gate?!"

"It's the entrance dufus."

"... I think Kakuzu is running out of insults. Anyway they probably have it locked up like that to keep the sake safe."

"Ooh, Oooh! Can we go ask for some of their sake then? Tobi likes sake!"

"After last week's incident, (looks at Itachi) I don't think anyone will be having sake for some time yet."

"Apart from me and Pein... he gets rather horny when he's half pissed. (giggles)" Deidara pretends he hadn't heard that and, pushing the nasty images aside, he changed the subject.

"I'm gunna kill that dammed sanbi if it's the last thing I do, yeah. Pulling us into suck a boring dimension, making me use up all my clay, what are we meant to do for fun, yeah?!" Sasori rolled his eyes as a light bulb popped up above Tobi's head.

"Let's play tag with those kids!" Everyone looked at him and burst out laughing.

"Tobi, I didn't know you were a fuckin paedophile!"

"_Don't be so cruel, you know he doesn't think like that._ **He doesn't? Man, he missin out on some awesome jokes!"**

"Tobi doesn't get it, why are you all laughing? Did Tobi say something funny?" While they were all busy laughing at Tobi, two strangers came up and unlocked the gates. As the great gates swung open the Akatsuki continued to laugh and only Itachi, one who would never even be caught dead laughing, noticed the two teenagers in white who were inviting them into the school grounds.

"We have been told to escort you to the chairman..."

"But it's time for Shiki to have his pocky, so we'll trust you to find your own way." With that they mysteriously disappeared. Itachi walked through the gate, the others walking quickly to catch up.

"So what are we doing, yeah?"

"Getting sake of course, right Itachi?"

"Hn."

"Hey look! Tobi sees two kids! Let go play!" Everyone held back their laughter as Tobi ran over to the two students in black. As he approached a girl twirled her staff in a fancy fashion and pointed it towards Tobi's neck. Tobi stepped back waving his hands in defence as he tried to explain he only wanted to play.

"I am Cross Yuuki, guardian of this school and vampire lover! Who are you?"

"We're the Akatsuki, the chairman wanted to see us." A tall silver haired boy stood next to the girl, frowning and emitting a terrible aura that clearly said get-lost-or-die.

"You're vampires aren't you?! I shall kill you!" The boy charged at Hidan, who just stood there looking incredibly confused, but was stopped when the girl gasped and held his arm to spot him. She looked up to him with tears in her eyes.

"Zero-kun, you can't! Not all vampires are scary, give them a chance or else I, I'll never speak to you again!" Zero gasped.

"NO yuuki! Don't leave me! If you do (pulls gun out of nowhere and holds it to his head) I'll pull the trigger and end my pathetic life!"

"NOOOOOO!!!" The Akatsuki sweat dropped and edged past them. Itachi continued to lead the way to the chairman.

"...Do you think the chairman will give me money?"

"Why would he give you money, when he can give you sake?"

"Money is better."

"What?! NEVER! SAKE is the best!"

"No, money is."

"Sake!"

"Money"

"Sake!"

"Money!"

"SAKE!"

"Money!"

"SA..."

"Will you two shut up?! You're going to drive me insane if you carry on." They both exchanged a short evil look.

"SAKE!"

"MONEY!!"

"SAKE!!!"

"MON.."

"Shut the fuck up! If you carry on, Janshin-sama will never let you go to hell him!"

"Tobi doesn't think Janshin is very nice." A door burst open and a man with glasses, blonde hair in a ponytail, and a pink apron, came out of nowhere singing like a drowned cat.

"COME IIINNNN! COMMMEE IINN!" Tobi shouted yay and ran into the office while the others stepped away from the rather creepy man. Once they had all nervously stepped into his office he stood in front of the window and smiled brightly at them all.

"I understand you're not from around this place sooooo, YOU MUST ENDURE THE TERRIBLE LONG AND EXHAUSTING JOURNEY BACK TO YOUR OWN WORLD!!!" Pein gave the man a glare that could seriously kill.

"Just get us out of this despicable place as soon as you can... My poor wittle Konan is getting homesick."

"Alright then. BYE BYE EVERYYYONNEEE!!!" As soon as a portal thing came out of nowhere, the Akatsuki all sprinted through it, glad to be getting away from the scary man.

The aktsuki were back in the base, bored. They had gone back to base to sleep off the remaining images of the bizarre day, while Deidara had gone to blow the sanbi to bits. When Pein heard the door squeack open he opened his eyes to se Deidara smiling like a little child who had just been given a lollipop. He mentally smiled as he watched Deidara place a small sculpture of a terrified sanbi in front of the sleeping Tobi, before silently getting into his sleeping bag and closing his eyes... a smile still on his face. As he looked around the room at all his sleeping comrades he smiled to himself. _They're just like family... and an annoying one at that._

_

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_**XD Well it wasn't all that great but oh well. I'd like to say that I'm very sorry for updating so late. I had exams and coursework as well as a problem with my charger. I'm also very sorry for the whole reviewing problem thingy that you may have had. If I had known that deleting a useless message, was going to stop people reviewing I wouldn't have done it. XD Anyway that all so thanks again to people who review and fave this story and don't forget to tell me your ideas k?**

**JA NE MINA-SAN! PLEASE PLEASE PERDY PARROT PLEASE, _REVIEW!!!!! ^^_  
**


	14. Tobi's paradise

**I DO NOT own Naruto! **

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The Akatsuki were on a rampage through the town. People were running away, screaming as they broke down the doors, smashed the windows and began to raid the candy stores. The poor shop-keepers would cower in fear and just when they thought they were safe Kakuzu would steal all the money from the till and then leave with everyone else following him, trying to stuff all the candy into their back-packs. When the shop-keepers would complain about the cost of the damage, the entire shop would blow up, courtesy of Deidara.

"We need to steal some more back-packs... and some sake while we're at it too."

_"Tobi is a good boy, so we need to get him all the candy in the world_, **I CAN'T BELEIVE HE MADE US DO THIS!"**

"He better not get fuckin high after this!"

"He probably will, so I've thought of a brilliant plan..."

"Is this is gunna include those creepy beady eyed mother fucker things?"

"... THEY'RE PUPPETS! And yes it does!"

"Then I don't wanna know! My ears will fuckin bleed if I hear any more of that shit!"

_"Calm down you two,_** I'LL GO GET THE POPCORN!** _What? How can you watch them tear each other apart? You're so evil... I don't want to be your friend anymore!_ **WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS IN THE FIRST PLACE, TWIT!** _What? We weren't?"_

"While you get the popcorn, I'll get the sake... and maybe a video recorder too."

"Don't you think we should go back to base now? Tobi will get angry again and spend the little amount of money I have left."

"Fine, it's not all the candy in the world, but he'll live."

"Aren't you going to say something about Pein too?"

"Pein? Who's he?"

ALL; "huh?"

"They're having a slight problem in their relationship." (Konan starts cryin)

A few hours later, back at the base, Tobi sat on his throne at the top of the candy mountain, made from a cut up cardboard box decorated with lollipops and sweet wrappers, while scoffing his face with the candy his fellow comrades stole for him.

"Tobi is a good boy, so Tobi will give you all a lollipop!"

"... can we go now?"

"NO! You all have to see my surprise!"

"I bet it's stupid, yeah."

"It'll probably be something to do with sweets so I'm outa here losers!"

Suddenly just when everyone else was about to leave, the lights dimmed and turned purple and a giant TV came out of no-where. They turned around to see Tobi in a spot light singing into a brush while singing a rather well-known song...

"SUCKIN TOO HARD ON YOUR LOLIPOP, OOH KONAN'S GUNNA GET YOU DOWN!"

"HAHAHAHAH! Konan, Pein, I think, I think I'm gunna fuckin wet myself!"

"He never mentioned Pein though; I don't understand what's so funny... YOU STILL DON'T GET IT? MAN, HE'S TALKIN BOUT S.."

"I'm leaving." Itachi disappeared in a puff of smoke. Tobi began to jump up and down on his throne, blushing through his mask and clapping his hands.

"I WAS WALKIN WITH PEIN ONE DAY, WHEN HE TOLD ME WHAT KONAN SAY..." This time it was Kisame who fell to the floor laughing as Konan blushed and ran out the door screaming and crying.

"PEIN-kun! I'm so sorry, please forgive me! I'll have the baby, I swear I will, I just miss you so much I'll do anything to have you back!"

"...anything? Well then, let's go to bed early tonight..."

"I'm going to count my money."

"I'm going to check on my puppets." Hidan and Kisame got off the floor, still laughing hysterically and ran towards the door.

"SEE I DON'T UNDERSTAND, HOW, YOU'RE NUMBER ONE!" Tobi pointed to a particular giant lollipop and ran to it

"My lollipop! Come to Tobi!" He glomped a lollipop and that is when Zetsu just had to leave. If he didn't he would have killed himself for laughing enough for one life time in just one day.

"... I'm scared, yeah." Deidara walked out with the look of pure horror on his face. After about an hour later everyone came back into the "throne room" to see if Tobi had calmed down yet. When they opened the door they found Tobi lying in a pile of sweet wrappers laughing and making... sweet angels? They all sighed and left again, knowing what was about to happen. Right after they left Pein appeared in front of Tobi, glaring down at the youngest member with all his might and flaring his chakra out throughout the base to show his murderous intent.

"TOBI! YOU BETTER CLEAN THIS MESS UP!"

"... Would leader-sama like a lollipop?"

"NO!"

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**This Idea belongs to **xXPrincess-Of-RaNdOmNeSsXx.** I think I made it a bit too much bout the candy raid than Tobi havin a sugar high...** **I hope I've made it funny enough, if I havn't tell me and I'll rewrite it k? I'm really sorry for not updating much latley, I blame the exams at school. XD Anyway I still hav two more chapters that I'm working on for this stroy, which should be posted by Sunday k? Thanks to everyone who have given me awsome ideas and reviews so far! Keep comeing with the awsome ideas mina-san! I have some of my wn now too so I'll probs be updating alot over the summer holidays! YAY! lol Anyway don't forget to review as well, that all for now soJA NE MINA-SAN!**

_review_


	15. It started with a deadly bottle

**I DO NOT own Naruto! **

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The Akatsuki were sitting round a table nervously watching the most horrible torture any sane person could go through (if they could call themselves sane), spin around and slowly come to a stop. Their eyes widened in shock and horror as the bottle pointed towards the one man they least expected it to. Uchiha Itachi. Pein looked over to him with a pure evil look in his eyes.

"Alright then, Itachi it is. I order you to tell us who you like... as in _like like_."

"Itachi likes someone?"

"yeah, he always runs off somewhere for a while and comes back relatively happy."

"Is that even possible, yeah?"

"Well I assume he's happy cuz he boasts a lot more than usual. And he lets me have my sake too..."

"In that case, I bet you all a tenner that he likes someone."

ALL: "O (fuckin) KAY! (yeah)"

HOURS LATER

"Let, ME, GO!" Everyone looked up in surprise to see Deidara in the door way carrying a girl with pink hair bridal style. She was blushing and screaming at him to let her go because her hormones were going haywire. When everyone finally noticed that he was topless (most likely just to piss the Uchiha off) and that the girl was glancing at his chest frequently, making her face turn as red as a tomato, they tried (and failed) to hold back their laughter, because they could all feel the murderous intent flying at poor Deidara.

"Deidara, just kill the bitch and shut her up, will you? She's giving me a fuckin headache!"

"I'm with Hidan. She's the one who almost killed me!"

"Wasn't she one of the backup people who were trying to kill me and Hidan?... I want her heart!"

"NOOO! Tobi seen her before too! Tobi think she's perdy!"

_"I agree with Tobi, she's pretty. She shouldn't have to die_. **SHE'S WAY MORE THAN PRETTY MAN, SHE'S HOT!** _You are not going to eat her!_** ... DAMN IT..."**

"Do you think she can take on a drinking contest?"

"Oh! Is she staying here? YAY! I finally have a little sister!"

"So she's the one Itachi-san likes?"

Hearing that, the girl snapped her head in Pein's direction and glared with all her might. She had of course over heard every comment they had just made and she had wisely chosen to ignore them, but that comment, made by the leader himself, really got her attention.

"WHAT? Is that why this fitty kidnapped me and took me here?"

"Fitty, hm?" She slapped her hand over her mouth, only just realising what she had just said. She looked up at his face to find him smirking down at her. She blushed bright red... again. After Itachi had stopped flaring out his evil chakra, Deidara put the girl down.

"So, Itachi... I guess she's you early birthday present... You could always give her to me so I can make her my puppet...?"

"No."

"Since she's staying, can I challenge her to a drinking contest? She might actually be able to beat me, I can see that empty sake bottle sticking out her pocket."

"No."

"Well then, you all own me a tenner"

ALL:"(fuckin) shit (yeah)"

_"I think we should let her go now_.** NOOOO! She actually looks edible!"**

"... No." Everyone turned to Itachi in shock, only to find he wasn't there... and neither was the girl. They all quickly came up with a plan to embarrass the Uchiha.

When they both came back, the guys nice noticed that Itachi was covered in bruises and that the girl looked incredibly pale and rather disorientated.

"I wander what you've been up to..."

"Probably fuckin her hard."

"W-What? He was not! We were sparring!"

"Suurre you were..."

"I don't believe you."

"Stop being so mean to her, yeah!" Itachi glared at Deidara as he walked over to her and gave her hug.

"Please forgive them, they don't appreciate the chance to make a good friend when they see one, yeah." She blushed again and bowed her head, trying to hide the loving smile on her face. Deidara smirked at Itachi and kissed her hand politely. Next thing he knew was that he was for some strange reason in a red world with a load of sharingan staring at him, and replaying the moment he fought against Itachi, and lost misrebly.

"NOOOOO, yyeeaaahh!" The others burst into laughter. Their plan had worked perfectly, now all they to do was get the girl to give him a hug. Kisame walked to the girl and tapped her shoulder. She was cast into a genjustu and found that she couldn't control her limbs at all. She hugged Itachi.

"I love you, I-tach-ii-kun!" A camera flash lit up the room at the exact same moment that Itachi blushed and smiled. They scribbled some words on the photo and left pinned it on their giant fridge for all see.

...

"TSUKUYOMI!"

And that is how the Akatsuki was killed...

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**lol Well this is the next chapter. One more chpater to write and I'll e asking for more ideas since I kinda forgot my own idea while writing this one XD Anyway this was another idea from **TobiGB **I think I wrote it ok but if I didn't please tell me n as usual I'll rewrite it k? REALLY SORRY for the end part, I realise it was a little too dodgy bbut that was because I was hypa when I wrote it and I had the explorers with me, they of course wrote it and cuz I was hypa I just laughed and left it XD Thanks for the idea and to everyone Anyway, I hope you like iiit! Don't forget to review! JA NE MINE-SAN! ^^**

_review_**  
**


	16. Awesomeness vs Awsomated!

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^ Just so you know, I'm not used to spelling awsome the correct way, so if you see spelling mistakes please don't have a go at me cuz I truly did my best k? ^^**

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Hi, I'm Hoshigaki Kisame and today I'll be the narrator for the story.

Okay, so, it all started on a Wednesday afternoon in the land of snow (cuz that's where our base is) it was beautiful morning, the sun was shining, and the birds were chirpin, bla bla bla, yeah you know the rest...

"What do I say next?"

"Use the script idiot"

"What script?"

"The script that I brought you!"

"Oh you mean that piece of screwed up paper on the floor?"

"YES THAT! You just wasted more of my money! Paper ain't cheap y'know!"

"Okay, okay, back to the story."

So as I was sayin, it was a wonderful morning and the Akatsuki were sitting down at a large table in a giant mansion playing poker with peoples, heads? O-kay so, everyone was havin fun until the evil Deidara came flying through the wall on his giant evil dragon and challenged the much loved Tobi to an evil contest where they had, to... eat as many, heads, as they could?

"Who the hell wrote this thing?!"

"**I DID!** _Tobi and I helped out too."_

"... I'm gunna tell the story the way it happened okay?"

"**NOOOO!** _... fine."_

... Actually let's just start the whole thing again okay? Right okay. So, it was wonderful snowy day in the land of snow. The Akatsuki were having fun playing an innocent game of snap when a very sleepy Deidara came into the room and flopped down onto a big blue chair.

"What ya playing, hm?" Said a very bored n sleepy lookin Deidara.

"We're playin a manly game of snap."

"It's not manly at all. It is just a simple game to kill the time we have before our missions."

"...hn."

"Tobi likes playing this game, it's awsomated!"

"Awsomated, un?! You have disgraced the name of awesomeness, yeah!"

"... I don't usually say things that sound so unintelligent but, what the hell?!"

"That's what I'm thinking."

"Huh? What word is awesomeness? Tobi only thought that awsomated was a word from awesome."

"No way, un! Awsomated is just a pathetic word you've somehow created, yeah! AWSOMENESS is the REAL word from awesome, hm!"

"But, isn't awesomeness just a word you made up?"

"Yes, that's why it's the best word, yeah."

"Tch, asshole."

"Tobi thinks that awsomated sounds more awesome though. You can use it for nearly everything."

"Oh yeah? Prove it, yeah."

"Okay! Tobi thinks that Deidara-senpai is awsomated!"

"...suck up, hm. Awesomeness is still the most awesome word, yeah."

"But, Tobi still thinks awsomated is best."

"Alright then why don't you two have a challenge to see which word is best?"

"**You have to use the word you made up**, _as many times as you can,_ **in one sentence."**

"Starting... now!"

"Okay! Tobi thinks that awsomated is the best word from awesome because it sounds awesomely awsomated... and saying it like that just sounds even more awesomely awsomated because it has the word awsomated in it which is what makes t so awesome AND awsomated! Yay! Did the awsomated Tobi win?"

"... We havn't heard Deidara out yet."

"Right, hm! The word awomated is pathetic cuz it was made up by the baka known as Tobi, the word awesomeness is best because it sounds awesome, it is awesome and it shows the pure awesomeness of all awesome art, not only that but you can say that anything is awesomeness because almost everything on the planet is made up of awesomeness and I know that because if things weren't made up of pure awesomeness then they wouldn't exist in the first place and I wouldn't have made up the word awesomeness, which is pure awesomeness, yeah!"

"... errr ... I didn't follow that at all."

"My sentence of awesomeness was longer, yeah!"

"but Tobi's sentence was awsomated!"

"... Would just shut the fuck up?!"

"Deidara wo..." That is when I did the unthinkable. I threw a sake bottle at _the_ Uchiha Itachi, my partner in crime, so that he wouldn't say who the winner was. If he had then Deidara would have used the word awesomeness all day long and Tobi would have cried and called everything he saw awsomated just to try to prove his word is best. ... I'm sooo proud of myself!

"It's a tie."

"Now can you both fuck off before you start arguing all over again?!"

"I agree with Hidan. If you both go away, I won't have to have my delicate ears listen to such unintelligent shit."

"... You swore?!"

"Yes."

After everyone discussed whether they liked Sasori better when he swore or not, Deidara and Tobi forgot all about their random contest and went back to bed. And that everyone is the end of our story.

This is Hoshikagi Kisame, thanks for watching and good night.

"Your telling a story, not doing the 6 o'clock news!"

Oh right, sorry. They all slept happily ever after.

"It not some fuckin fairy tale either you piece of shit!"

Fine then! THE END! Now are you happy?!

ALL: "Yes!"

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**Okay so you all probs think that's really random and confusing ryt? Well I'm gunna explain k?**

LadyMartel4000 **and I were talking when she mentioined the word Awesomeness and I mentioned the word awsomated. She came up with the idea of Deidara and Tobi fighting over which word is best. Deidara bein her word (lucky her) n Tobi was my word. (I like Dei-kun WAY better XD) So I typed this up as soon as I could. It is supposed to be confusing and random because I think that confusing and random stories are funny and awsomated k?**

**Just so you know awesomeness is **LadyMartel4000'**s word, and Awsomated is MY word, so NO STEALING!!! XD **

**Anyway, hope you like/love this chapter cuz it has two awsome words in it. Oh and before anyone says anything, yes I know I spell awsome wrong but that's becuase I've always spelt it like that and it makes my friends laugh at how blonde I am k? Okay so JA NE MINA-SAN!!!! dont' forget to review and send in ideas k? ^^ Bai bai! ^^**

_review_**  
**


	17. New Member, Haruno Sakura!

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

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Today was a rather puzzling day for the Akatsuki. They had all been clearing out their closet looking for something to sell so that Kakuzu would stop complaining about his lack of money. While they were clearing out the closet they found something, or should I say someone, who they had completely forgotten about.

"Oi bitch, why the fuck do you have pink hair?" The only reply he got was a death glare and a growl. He just answered back with a 'tch' Currently every member of the fearsome group were crowded round a very angry looking Sakura, holding dusters and brooms in their hands and wearing pink fluffy aprons. Each of them had a blank face and glazed over eyes as they all looked from Sakura to Itachi. Itachi was just standing there mentally daring the group to remember why she was in the closet in the first place.

"...I don't remember why she was here. Perhaps I wanted her to be a new member?"

"Omg, YAY! Finally I won't have to be the only girl here anymore!"

"Maybe she's the one who stole my money?"

"How can she steal something when she's tied up, baka?!"

"Oh, right. Sorry, pink girl." Her eyes turned to slits at the sound of the name.

"So what should we do with her? I know from battle that she's not as weak as she looks, in fact if you remember that this is my second body, you should be able to figure out that she's quite deadly."

"Hm, in that case, I think we should kill her. There must be a bounty on her head or something."

"But I wanna sacrifice her to Janshin-sama!"

"_Well I say we_ _**EAT HER!**_ _I wasn't gunna say that!"_

"We could get her to go buy is some sake. That would be cool."

"Tobi thinks you're all being big fat meanies! Tobi thinks we should let her go home!" He held his head high and they all guessed that under his mask he was looking rather proud of himself for having the courage to insult the bunch in such a childish way.

"I agree with pumpkin face. Let me go back to Konoha and I swear I won't tell anything about where your base is, deal?"

"...You could still tell someone."

"I knew your going blind but I had no idea you were going deaf too Uchiha."

"You said anything, not anyone."

"Woah! The bastard Uchiha really is fucking smart-ass!"

"Well then, I guess letting her go is not an option."

"Deidara hasn't said anything about this at all, Deidara, what do you think?"

"...I think... I think we should make her member, yeah." They all turned to him to find that the blonde was staring down at the frowning Kunoichi with a rather obvious blush on his face. Suddenly Itachi's sharingan was spinning and he was charging towards Deidara. Everything went into slow motion when Deidara's fist connected with Itachi's fist and they both went flying backwards towards the wall. The kunoichi gasped at the sight of seeing two fellow members of Akatsuki fight.

"Geez, you guys always find something to fight about."

"Alright, I've decided. Haruno Sakura, from now you will be the newest member of Akatsuki." Pein's announcement rung through each of the members minds as they slowly figured out what that ment.

"...Soo she'll be staying at the base?"

"Exactly."

All: "... I got dibs on-!"

"She can stay in my room, yeah!"

All: "You (fucking) beat us to it! (bastard)"

"WTF?! There is no way in hell, that I'm gunna stay in this dump with a load of killing machines! AND I REFUSE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH ANYONE!!!"

"...Oooh." They looked very disappointed and poor Deidara and even Itachi had a hurt look on their faces. Tobi however, wasn't disappointed at all.

"That's alright Sakura-chan! You can sleep in my room and I'll sleep in sempai's room!" He glomped her and managed to earn the most petrifying death glares he'd ever seen from Itachi and Deidara.

"No, un."

"But, sempai...!"

"No. Tobi, I will not share a room with an annoying little pest like you, yeah."

"Just sleep on the fucking sofa you twat."

"But, but, but sempaii!"

The rest of the day was consumed with untying poor Sakura, making a her a member, flirting, death glares from, well I'm sure you can guess who, and finally shoving Tobi out his room and letting the tired girl get some sleep.

Pein sat at the top of his tower, holding on to the Konoha headband he had confiscated from her. As he listened to the crashes and the very loud arguments from the boys he finally came to a conclusion about what things would be like with another girl in the base.

"Things are going to get interesting from now on."

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**Konnichiwa mina-san! lol I'm sorry for not updating much lately. Since it seems people are beginning to get bored of this random series thing/I'm not as funny as I used to be, I might end this story soon. :( If you don't want me to end it though review and tell meh, it'll probs cheer meh up ^^ lol erm anyway, I didn't really try very hard to make this chapter funny, someone asked for more AkaSaku so this is just kinda like an introduction to some more stories with Sakura as an Akatsuki. (but since there are people out there who don't like Sakura, she won't be included in every chapter) XD Hope you like iit anyway, and I hope it made you laugh even a little bit ^^**

One last thing, don't forget!** IF YOU HAVE ANY FUNNY IDEAS TELL MEH N I'LL TYPE THEM UP N POST THEM!! ALL CREDIT WILL GO TO THE PERSON WHO CAME UP WITH IDEA!!! ^^ **lol n **don't forget to review either ^^**

_review_**  
**


	18. Sasuke vs Itachi, ItaSakuDeiSasoSaku

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

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The week had been filled with non-stop chaos. The moment Pein had snatched Sakura's Konoha headband away and made a scratch through it Sakura had gone berserk. She had attempted to charge at Pein and punch him hard in the face but of course when she missed she got mad and started chucking table and chairs all over the place. At first the other members were just watching the scene with popcorn and smoothies but as soon as she went to pick up the T.V they all pounced on her and pinned her down, Kakuzu being the first one to pounce of course. Then once she realised she wasn't going to get to punch Pein, she began to swear so much that even Hidan was amazed.

After that the chaos still carried on. She refused to leave her/Tobi's room until she thought everyone was asleep, each time she tried to get change the members would be at her door in a flash, when she was told to cook for everyone the kitchen was burned down and every time someone tried to flirt with her through the door she would send a deadly Barbie doll through a hole in the wall and hit whoever it was at the time, right between the eyes. And all that happened in just the first two days.

And don't even ask what happened when she went in the bath and found Kisame swimming under water...

However today's adventure is the one that'll stand out the most.

Once again, nearly every member of Akatsuki were peeking through the keyhole of Sakura/Tobi's door. It didn't take her long to find a hair clip and try to poke their eyes out.

"Ouch! That fucking hurt you bitch!"

"Oh shut up you wimp! That's what happens when you try to peek at an innocent women!"

"... innocent?! As in virgin?! You're a virgin?!!"

"..maybe, maybe not. Just mind your own business and go peek on Konan or something!"

"That keyhole is already taken."

"PERVERT! Go away!" Knowing what would happen next, Sasori ducked and ran off before the bed that was currently flying through the wall, crushed his new REAL body.

(sigh)"Sakura-chan, un! I just fixed that wall yesterday, can't you throw something through the door instead, yeah?"

"Tobi regrets letting Sakura-chan have my room. Tobi didn't know she would try to tear it down. Sakura-chan! You're making Tobi cry!"

"...Actually, Sakura-chan! Could you help me demolish Tobi's room?"

"NOOO! Deidara-senpaii! You're so mean to Tobi! WAAA! Tobi's unloved!"

Suddenly a loud crash was heard and a bright blue chakra blade came flying at the crying Tobi.

"Where's Itachi?" A gasp was heard from Sakura.

"This is tenth time this week that you have broken through the wall. I made a door with flashing lights ad everything and yet you still insist on breaking the walls. I HOPE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY IT COSTS TO REPAIR THIS BASE, YOUNG MAN!!"

"What the fuck are ya shoutin for?! I'm trying to sleep ya know! ... Oh. It's this bastard again."

"Uchiha Sasuke. Just as I told you before, your brother is not here right now. Please leave and wait for him to come and kill you." A small creak and another quiet gasp was heard. Everyone turned to see Sakura staring at Sasuke with a small hint of a blush on her cheeks. Deidara saw this ad immediately came to a rather accurate conclusion.

"Damn Uchihas. I hate them all, yeah!"

"Sasuke-kun? ...Sasuke-kun, you're safe!" She ran to hug but he just shoved her away from him causing tears to come to her eyes. Deidara looked at her worried and as soon as he hugged her to try and comfort her Itachi appeared.

"Foolish little brother, you really are blind aren't you?"

"I HATE YOU! DIE!" Another chakra blade came flying at Itachi's heart and with just one step, he dodged it and appeared behind Sasuke with a kunai in hand.

"Foolish brother, you're still weak." With that kicked Sasuke in the back and sent him flying through the other wall, earning a small sob from Kakuzu. As Sasuke hit the ground he called out to his big brother.

"I'll get youu somme daaayy!!!"

"S-Sasuke-kun." Itachi looked back to Sakura and Deidara and allowed a small frown to cross his face.

"She'll be fine. Sasuke won't come back for a while, my puppets have put a barrier around the base."

"Hn."

"Haruno-san. It's nice to see that you're out of the room, would you care to join us all for dinner?"

"Since when the fuck have you been so polite, dipshit?"

"I will only be kind to Haruno-san." Hearing this Deidara tightened his hold on Sakura who was blushing and Itachi was standing next to her in a flash.

"Looks like I have two rivals, yeah."

"I'm your rival in art and in love for Haruno-san."

"I will win."

"NO YOU WON'T UCHIHA! Sakura-chan will never fall for a stoic madman like you, yeah!"

"I agree, Sakura-chan would never fall for a madman, so clearly I've already won."

"I'm not mad, yeah! You're the one who made yourself a puppet, un!"

"But Sakura-chan likes Sasuke person, so just because you're all madmen, it doesn't mean she won't like you."

"ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT SASUKE-KUN IS MAD!"

"But Tobi thinks he is mad. Please don't hurt me Sakura-chan!"

"YOU LITTLE PEST! I'M GUNNA SEND YOU TO HELL!"

"BLASPHEMY! You little bitch, only the great and awesome Janshin-sama can send people to hell!"

"I don't give a shit about you're phony god!"

"WHAT?!"

(sigh)"There they go again."

"Yup yup."

"YOU BITCH! KONAN YOU COPIED ME!!" I've been betrayed by my best enemy friend, I can't go on living this pathetic life I have! Goodbye, crappy world! I shall not miss thee..."

"Haruno Sakura, I order you to stop this dramatic sarcasm at once!"

"NEVER!"

And so while Sasuke continued to attempt to break through the barrier, unaware of the pervy snake man watching him, the base once again was filled with chaos and Pein (god of chaos) wouldn't like it any other way.

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**Ohayo mina-san! XD I got alot of reviews and ideas yesterday so I updated as soon as I could ^^ I'm very happy to hear that I still manage to make people laugh so I thanks everyone for reviewing! You all reallu made my day. (was having a crap day btw) **

**lol I'm very sorry for leaving Zetsu out in this chapter, he couldn't make it because he was busy filming Sasuke fail epically at trying to break the barrier. XD **

**There are two ideas from some awsome people in this chapter. I was in a hurry to write this as well so I apologize for not including the ideas a little more :( lol Anyway the idea about Sauke trying to kill Itachi for the millionth time in this week was from none other than the great **TobiGB! **lol the other idea bout Sakura being a virgin is from the cool **Black-Blue Moonlight Neko! lol** My dad was watching me write this, and he already told me off for swear words XD so i couldn't really add in the other part of **Black-Blue Moonlight Neko's** so I'll write in the rest of the idea in the next chapter ^^ THANKS VERY MUCH FOR THE IDEAS btw! haha ^^**

**I'll try to update the next chapter (which will be another awsome idea) as soon as I can ^^ Thanks again for all the awsome reviews, I really hope everyone can review again and maybe those who didn't review might as well ^^ ja ne mina-san!!!**

_review_**  
**


	19. Akatsuki las vegas XD I hope

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

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The Akatsuki stared up at the giant neon sign above them with the look of absolute shock and horror on their faces, including Sakura.

"What, the, FUCK?!"

"Tobi, you don't know the way to the casino at all do you?"

"This is the casino isn't it?"

"This is Michael Jackson's funeral, yeah!"

"WAAA! Tobi's sorry senpai, really, really sorry!"

"Its fine Tobi, we'll just leave and try to find the casino ourselves."

"Oi, bitch. I thought you were against this whole thing." Sakura turned her back to him and held her head high as she walked away dragging Tobi with her. Deidara and Itachi were silently giving the poor boy death threats. The other's (apart from Sasori) sweat dropped at the girl's behaviour.

"I'm getting out of here. Turns you have to pay to see a rotten coffin lowered into a God-damned grave."

"Who would want to see some freak's funeral anyway? Unless it's the creator of all wonderful sake, I don't care at all about anyone's death." Tobi burst into tears.

"Okay, okay! I'd care if you guys died, and if Sakura died too... then I'd be very upset, I might even cry!" Kisame continued to ramble on about how upset he would be if his dear Sakura would get hurt, and yes, he was very aware of the three deadly shinobi who very quickly charging towards him, sharingan, bombs, puppets and all. He was mentally dying from laughter. Just before they could land a hit on him he shouted very happily,

"KIDDING!" However, they still decided to beat him up Akatsuki style.

"Ouch! Ow! H-hey, that hurts! AAAARRRRG!! MY balls you twats, I HATE YOU! I couldn't care less if you three died and left Sakura here with me!" That earned him a punch to the face from Sakura herself.

"PERVERT! SHANNARO!!" She stormed back the way she came, this time leaving Tobi behind to look after a twitching Kisame who was looking like he wanted to cry. As she passed by the laughing Deidara she moved to whisper in his ear, which obviously made him blush.

"Tobi's too energetic, would you mind looking after him, Dei-kun?"

"S-sure, Sakura-chan, yeah!" He wondered why she was chuckling as she left for who knows where.

"DEIDARA-SENPAII! Where's Saku-chan? WAAA Saku-chan left Tobi! Deidara-senpaii, tobi need a hug!"

"...That's why, un. SAKURA-CHAN, HOW COULD YOU, YEAH!" Deidara ran away from the crying glomping machine known as Tobi.

Back at the casino, which she had found simply by looking to left of where they were before, Sakura was sitting down playing a game of poker.

"Haruno-san, may I play a game too?"

"Of poker?"

"A kind of poker, yes."

"...What kind?" She cocked an eyebrow at the suspicious looked red head.

"Strip poker?"

"...NEVER YOU PERVERT!! SHANNARO!!" Sasori went flying into a table with a bright red fist mark left on his face.

"Ouch, that hurt."

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"Hey Deidara-senpaii! Tobi found the casino!"

"THIS IS WHERE YOU GO TO GET FUCKED YOU FUCKING SHIT HEAD!!!!"

"... Naah, it's not worth the money. Let's go."

_"Kakuzu's pretty sick_. **Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, if you're still looking for the casino it's only two buildings away.** _Sasori and Kisame are already there."_

"Hm? Where the hell have you been two face?"

**"I'm the one that booked the trip, you twat!** **Plus we had to find a hotel that didn't include a prostitute in the room service.** _You weren't meant to say that._ **Huh, why not?"**

"YOU PASSED UP THE CHANCE TO GET FUCKED?! YOU MANIAC!"

**"... oohh**,_ that's why._"

"You guys scare me, un"

"Surely you wanted it too Deidara?"

"No, yeah. Why would I, hm?"

"...Have you ever done it before?"

"No, yeah."

_"Was that a yeah_, **or a no?"**

"NO, yeah!"

"He's a pansy so I'll take it as a no." Deidara did his best not to hang his head in shame.

"Oh well, let's just go to the casino already."

***************************************************************************************************************************************************

Sakura was watching Sasori gamble. As soon as he had gotten over the punch she gave him, she'd seen him run screaming towards the gambling tables with a rather mad look on his face. A shadow and a chuckle let her know a certain shark man was behind her.

"Hey Kisame. You finally found the place, huh?

"Hmph, it wasn't hard to find after I heard you shouting 'SHANNARO!' I hope you don't do that in battle."

"Not all the time."

"Good greif, you really did punch him hard didn't ya?" Sakura looked over to Sasori and winced at the painful looking bruise she had placed on his face.

"Yeah, my bad. Haha" He only chucked.

"I SEE SAKE!"

"and he's gone."

"SAKUUU-CHAAANN!!!"

"Shit." She very wisely side stepped and watched with an amused expression as Tobi glomped the table leg.

"Where's Kisame go, un?"

"Sake. I'll have to praise him later for using his own money this time." Everyone sweat dropped (they had been the ones to tell Kisame to take the money in the first place)

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Why do I have to take him back to base?!"

"Cuz you're the strongest, yeah."

"Deidara-senpai, you have a bird don't you?"

"Yes but dead birds can't fly can they Tobi?"

"Hehehe, sorry about that senpai."

(sigh)"Fine, fine. But I'll make you all pay for this later!"

"Bai bai, Sakura-chan!" Once she was out of sight each of them (not including Deidara who was trying to keep Tobi from following them) went towards their hotel all thinking the same thing.

"room service"

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Sakuraaaa, I'm hungry!"

"Then get something to eat, baka."

"But I can't reach the fridge handle!"

"Kisame, you're like a giant. Of course you can reach."

"NO I'M NOTT! Immaa CHIBIIII!"

"Right, sure you are."

"Saaakuraaaa, perdy pwease??"

"Alright, alright, but no more sake okay?"

"No."

"Tough." She came back and placed a neat little bowl on the table. He stared down at it in pure utter horror.

"YOU WITTCCHHH!!!!!!!" She burst into a fit of laughter.

"S-sorry Kisame, I could help it, really."

"MAKING ME EAT SUSHI! WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?! ZETSU?!" She was now in hysterics.

"hahahaha! S-sorry, really. I- I didn't mean to insult you. I didn't think you'd realise what it was."

"I'M NOT DRUNK!"

"Then why did I have to carry you all the way back to this shitty lil base huh?!"

"Cuz I didn't want that hotel's room service! That's why!"

"...room service?"

"...never mind."

Kisame went to bed after that, feeling embarrassed from mentioning it, and Sakura followed suit wondering what he meant. Pein and Konan finished planning the world's destruction and the rest of the gang were moping around in their hotel, all of them very depressed after being reminded by Zetsu that there was no room service.

Somewhere in the forest that surrounded the base, Itachi chuckled as he watched his foolish little brother fall to the ground once again, crying like a little baby just because Itachi had told him that Sakura was no longer innocent.

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**Konnichiwa mina-san! I updated today just as promised! ^^ YAY ^^ XD Well, I finished off the idea from **Black-Blue Moonlight Neko **and the other idea about the sushi was from **caseh-chan **AND i also used **TobiGB's **second idea ^^ THREE IDEAS! XD So all credit for the imagination to come up with these awsome ideas go to these people! ^^ I hope I wrote them all up okay ^^**

**Next chapter will be updated soon as well, I have loads of ideas to use now and I'm sorry to the people who gave me ideas ages ago and I havn't used them yet. lol I'm typing them up now too ^^ But the next chapter will be a chibi idea and maybe another idea about tobi too since it kinda fits n all (maybe) XD ^^ Thanks TONS n TONS to everyone who had read and reviewed! Hope you liked this chapter ^^ JA NE MINA-SAN! ^^**

_review _**  
**


	20. Akatsuki Chibi Mayhem

**I do NOT own Naruto! Gomen for the late update mina-san! I had promised to update on Sunday as usual but then this stupi glitch thing came up on my laptop and it refused to let me log on to my account :( lol ^^**

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The akatsuki were staring up at the suddenly very tall Leader who had a very evil smile on his face.

"That should teach you."

"B-but Pein-kun, I'm s-"

"No, don't talk to me. I'm ignoring you." As he held his giant hand to her small face Itachi noticed that his voice was rather high pitched. _He really hates being mean to her_

"Forget Konan! What the fuck did you to us you bastard?!" As a look of pure terrifying evil found its way onto leader's face, the akatsuki only just realised just how scary and powerful their leader was.

"I wouldn't talk to me like that, if I were you."

"Trust me, if you were any of us, you'd see why we're not scared. _**shannaro! Ya better look out cuz I'm back baby!"**_

"N-ne, Sakura-chan?"

"What now Tobi?"

"Does Tobi look as short and as cute as you do right now?" Sakura looked round to everyone else to find that everyone was staring at her. She looked down at her large looking feet and then at her small hands, she took another glance at the others who seemed to have shrunk a lot more than old person would, and then let out an ear-piercing scream.

"WHY THE HELL AM I A CHIBI?! I know I'm short for my age but seriously, I'm NOT THIS SMALL! What am I gunna do if Sasuke-kun comes back and sees me like this?! He's never gunna think of me seriously again!" She fell to the ground with tears pouring from her big bright chibi eyes. Deidara was at her side in seconds, as well as Sasori and Itachi. Kisame tagged along just to piss them off. While Itachi and Sasori kept Kisame away from their precious crying little Sakura chibi, Deidara tried to gently place a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. She kindly her took his hand and gave sweet girly smile to reassure him she wasn't going to hurt him. As soon as he smiled back he was thrown into the air screaming like a frightened little girl while flapping his arms around attempting to fly. Sakura stood up and smiled proudly. Kisame laughed as Deidara fell into a baby basket, Sasori wisely backed away from Sakura and Itachi continued to glare at Kisame, still not convinced that the shark man did NOT love her.

"Itachi and Kisame, if you two don't walk away from me right now, I'll team up with Konan and together we'll beat you up so bad that you won't want to anywhere near a mirror for the rest of your life." They sweat dropped and ran away. **_Yeah, you better run!_**

"Hey Sakura, don't you think this is kinda cool? Us being chiibis and everything?"

"Erm, I guess so."

"Hey, let's make mini cookies!"

"... eerrr, didn't you already do that with leader-sama?"

"EEEEHHH?! NOT LIKE THAT BAKA!"

"oohh, haha sorry."

The moment Kakuzu had a nose bleed Hidan and Zetsu began to run away with their hands no their ears, screaming that their minds were now officially corrupted for good.

"Deidara-senpai, why don't Hidan and Zetsu-san like cookies?"

"N-never mind. Forget it, yeah."

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"WHO WANTS COOKIES?!" Tobi was the first one there.

"I do, I do! Sakura-chan made Tobi cookies! Thanks Sakura-chan!" Once each member had a cookie each, Sakura went to go and eat her's, which just happened to be the biggest cookie of the bunch because she had told herself that she was just that awesome. As she took a small bite out of it Deidara took his chance had took a bite of it from the other side. Sakura immediately snatched the cookie away from him and cupped it in her hands and began to walk away, all the while stroking the thing and calling it 'her precious'. The moment she felt something hit her on the back of the head she whirled around to see Deidara smirking, and trying not to laugh.

"Oh no you didn't!"

"Oh yes I did, yeah."

"I said oh _no_ you_ didn't_!"

"And I say, oh _yes_ I _did_, _yeah_!"

While Deidara and Sakura had a very girly 'oh-no-you-didn't-(yeah) fight, Konan was explaining to Tobi that he will never get a girlfriend because he was a good boy.

"But perdy girls like good boys, and Tobi is a very good boy. So why won't Tobi get a girlfriend Konan-chan?"

"Because Tobi, girls like BAD boys, Tobi. Not good boys, bad boys, Tobi, BADASS HOT BOYS."

"B-but Tobi doesn't want to be a bad boy!"

"That's why I'm telling you, you'll never get a girlfriend!" Hidan and Zetsu watched the fight (if that's what you could call it) with mild amusant. Hidan was actually thinking for once, even if it was in his own little world.

"Oi Zetsu, any ideas why the fucking bastard turned us into chibis?"

"_It was something to do with_, _**Konan questioned his man-hood**_!"

"How's she do that?"

"She said that with all those piercings on his face, he looked a lot like a-"

"ahem!"

"Leader-sama it's very impolite to interrupt someone who's trying to speak. Anyway, she said he looked like a what, zetsu?"

"_She said he looked like a-_"

"I'll give you twenty bucks if you don't tell a soul, and that's an order too."

_**"How about a few dead bodies instead?"**_

"Deal. Kakuzu! Hidan! You have a new mission!"

Hidan jumped up with joy and grabbed hold of his skyth. Kakuzu walked over to Pein and gave him a look that clearly said you-are-even-worse-than-Hidan-when-it-comes-to-using-your-brain.

"Leader-sama, how may I ask, are we supposed to kill people in chibi forms?"

"You'll find a way."

"How can we kill twenty people when Hidan doesn't even have the strength to pick up his skyth?!" He pointed at a very angry looking Hidan who was attempting to pick up the giant weapon. However no matter how any times he cursed and prayed, Janshin would not give him any kind of assistance. This resulted in poor Hidan swearing even more than usual while kicking the thing as hard as he could before hopping around in a circle clutching his foot and screaming,

"THIS FUCKING KILLLS!" Pein and Kakuzu sweat dropped at Hidan's amusing behaviour.

"I see your point." He handed Kakuzu a pound coin as a reward for making him see sense. Kakuzu took it gratefully and said thanks you before running around the room with the coin held above his head, showing off his newest addition to what he called, 'his very rapidly growing money world'. And thanks to his chibi form Sakura and Konan both conluded that he actually looked a little bit cuter than usual (which was not at all)

And so, as Konan and Sakura took photos of their partners in crime running around with money, hopping across the room, crying in the emo corner (Tobi), staring at them through binocliors (you can guess who) and eating some rather gory things/people, something snapped in Sakura's mind.

_Maybe being stuck here won't be so bad after all._ _**As long as they don't end up raping you at least...**_ _GET ME OUT OF HERE!!_

* * *

**Well that's another chapter done ^^ I'm really sorry if it's not very funny, I was feelin kinda a leetle bit down so if it's not funny enough to really make you guys laugh I'll rewrite it (if you want meh too) lol **

**This awsomated idea was from **DarkLillyOfTheNight96**! I really loved this idea! XD I really wish I had the skill to draw some Akatsuki chibi mayhem now XD**

**Next chapter will be updated on Sunday n it's gunna be this really kl idea that I kinda kept on forgetting about lol So erm, perdy pwease Tell meh if it made you laugh or not and if anyone has any funny ideas and would like me to type up n post them, than please feel free to tell me about them in a review or a pm. ^^ Ja ne mina-san! **_(please don't send in too many yuri/yaoi ideas cuz I'm not really into that kinda thing and I wouldn't be able to write anything very funny about them XD well I could but it'd just be me taking the piss out of it) _

**_review_****  
**


	21. Tobi's embarassing question

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

* * *

The akatsuki were staring at their leader as if he'd grown another foot, hand and head...and maybe a third eye too.

"Why the fuck do you let that little freaking pest get what he wants, but you won't let any of us get what we want?!"

"Because Tobi is a good boy and unlike you Hidan, he hasn't asked to open the portal to hell."

"But hell is fucking awesome dude! You just can't not want to go to hell!"

In case you're wondering why on Earth Hidan wants to open the portal to hell, it's so that he can either chuck Sakura through the portal and be rid of her shouting screaming sarcasm and deadly punches, or so he can go there himself and escape from her. Probably the latter since Sakura's not so secret admirers would put him through a torture far worse than hell if he sent her to another bloody dimension.

"So Tobi can adopt a dog?"

"Yes Tobi, you can."

"YAY! Tobi is very happy now, Tobi knows which dog he wants!" Ina poof of smoke he was gone.

"He hasn't even seen a dog before, how the hell does he know what it would even look like?"

"Tobi's baack! Look what Tobi found!"

"... Tobi, that's a weasel." Suddenly the entire base was filled with an evil and intense aura. Even Sasuke, who was still outside the barrier, glaring at Sasori's puppet's, was alarmed by the evil chakra coming from the base and just like everyone else he knew very well just what would happen to the poor little weasel that he guessed must be in the building.

"DIE!" Sakura grabbed Itachi's hand before he could make a move. His spinning sharingan came to a halt and when he looked at Sakura's hand and saw her fingers intertwined with his, his eyes rolled and he fell on the ground with a thump. Sakura sweat-dropped. Once Konan had let the little weasel free, Sakura showed Tobi a picture of a real dog.

"Ooohh, that's what a dog is... Tobi knows where he can find one!" Another puff of smoke and he was gone. While they waited for the little-too-energetic-Tobi to come back with what they think will be another weasel, Sakura stared at the growing lump on the side of Itachi's head. (Where his head hit the ground) and frowned slightly.

"You know, leader-sama, with a concrete floor in a base like this, you're members are going to get more injuries here than they are in battle. You really should buy a carpet or at least wood instead of a stony ground like this." Pein thought for a while before turning to look at Kakuzu expectantly. Kakuzu counted his never lacking money and sighed with a frown before reluctantly handing HALF of it over it to Pein, who now looked rather happy. As Kakuzu then went on a verbal rampage of muttering a load of insults to the now happy leader, a puff of smoke appeared, making everyone jump, and then the most annoying yet innocent voice rung through the base.

"Tobi's ba-aack! Did anyone miss Tobi?"

"No, ye.. un. No. Un. HAH, yeah! Now you can't confuse me like you did last time!"

"Riight... Anyway, did you find a dog Tobi?"

"Yup, Tobi found fluffy!" He then held up the most adorable little puppy for everyone to see. While Konan squealed at its cuteness Sakura stared at the puppies cute familiar face for quite some time. There was something nagging at the back of her mind.

"Hey, Tobi, where'd you find that dog?"

"Tobi found it on this strange guy's head!"

"...Baka! That's Kiba's ninja dog, Akamaru! Not a puppy called fluffy! Shannaro!" Sasori watched Sakura with great amusement as she continued her rant toward Tobi, who didn't seem to be taking any notice as he began to sign the adoption paper.

"Yay! Tobi's going to be able to keep you Fluffy, isn't that great?"

"...even if you did steal it and gave him a name couldn't you think of something better than that? He's a ninja dog for god sake!..."

"haha just one more thing to sign..."

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!"

"Ne, leader-sama, what does sex mean?" Pein and Konan's smiles disappeared as the air in the room became awkward.

"and another thing, why'd you have to..." The fist that was about to pound Tobi into the ground froze above his head as Sakura blinked, trying to believe that he did not just say what she thought he said. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"What does sex mean?"

Hidan stood still with his mouth closed for once, afraid that if he said what he was thinking Pein would grant his request to open the portal to hell... he wouldn't mind at all if it wasn't for the thought of Pein throwing him into a fire in some kind of giant oven that would just so happen to in Zetsu's kitchen. He shuddered at the thought. "..."

Itachi was just standing there, his face emotionless as always, apart from very faint look of surprise in his eyes. "...."

Kakuzu immediately began to count his money and walked out the room, saying he had a corpse to trade.

Sasori was trying to hide the smile that slowly making its way onto his face. He also tried to hide the fact that he was silently laughing his head off.

Kisame however wasn't doing too well at hiding his laughter because Sasuke could hear him from beyond the barrier.

Pein was glaring at Hidan just daring him to open his foul mouth, and Konan was distracting herself with her origami.

Zetsu who had only just come back from his mission, regreted coming back at such a bad time and silently disappeared again before he was asked to explain.

Deidara and Sakura stood next to each other both on the border of either sprinting out the room to go and help Kakuzu count his money or toppling over and rolling around the floor in hysterics.

"Well? What does it mean Leader-sama?"

He coughed trying to hide his laughter. Deidara took a step towards the door, knowing what he was thinking. "Deidara, Sakura, you have a new mission, good luck! (you'll need it)" With that he was gone. Sakura looked towards Hidan, practically begging him with her puppy eyes to tell Tobi what it was. Hidan however was still, for some unknown reason to Sakura, shuddering with a horrified look on his face.

"Err, well... Sex is. Sex is when a girl and a boy want t-"

"Fuck!" Deidara looked over just in time to see Hidan pass out.

"Carry on Sakura, yeah."

"O-okay, well. Sex is when a girl and a boy want to make a baby."

"Is that when Mr. Stalk come to see them?"

"N-not exactly."

"Tobi, why do you want to know what sex means?"

"It asks for the sex on this form see?" Deidara and Sakura were now rolling on the floor pissing themselves with relief.

"In that case, it's asking to if the puppy is a girl or a boy."

"Thank you Konan-san! ...What's the other case?" He looked up for an answer but everyone was gone.

"Hello?.. Anyone? Hey, where did everyone go?"

"..."

"Is it tea time?"

* * *

**Well that this week's chapter! hehe It's posted a litlle late but it's still Sunday so it's on time ^^ I think I did rather well in making it as funny as I can lol (sorry for leaving Zetsu out o this btw. He was busy haunting Hidan's nightmare XD)  
**

**This is an idea that I have unfortunately been forgetting about. I've been writing different versions of it all week, trying to make it as amusing as I can since I wasn't happy with the last chapter ^^ So Fianlly, here it is! It's an idea from teh awsomated **xXPrincess-Of-RaNdOmNeSsXx ^^ Thanks for the idea!

**As I mentioned before I did my best to write this chapter as a way of saying sorry for holding it off so long, so perdy please review and tell me if it's ok, k? haha **

_review  
_


	22. Kakuzu, ebay and dancing puppetsLOL

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

* * *

"DEIDARA-SENPAII!!" The said blonde Akatsuki quickly jumped behind the sofa in an attempt to hide from the hyperactive ninja. Kisame took note that this was the fifth time today that Deidara had tried to avoid Tobi, and laughed mentally at the unfortunate nukenin.

"Deidaraa-senpaaii!! Tobi won the contest! Where are you?" As the nin's voice quickly faded away, Deidara came out of hiding and flopped onto the couch.

(sigh) "So much for a peaceful holiday, yeah."

"...DEIDARA! You idiot! Just go see what Tobi wants before he completely ruins the reputation of my puppets!"

"Huh?" Kisame and Deidara turned to see a very angry looking Sasori pointing towards Tobi who was making Hiruko dance along with him as means of punishment for not telling him were Deidara was. Hidan entered the room and immediately burst out laughing.

"What the fuck happened to you to let Tobi dance with your favourite puppet, huh?" Sasori sneered at him.

"It was either Hiruko, or me!" Hidan fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. Hidan's howls of laughter obviously caught Tobi's attention. When he saw Deidara trying to hide behind Kisame he whizzed over and held up the poster of what he would get for winning the contest. Sasori and Kisame stared in awe as Pein came in and turned away, before Konan could accuse him of staring at any other attractive girl other than herself.

"Why do you have a poster of Utada Hikaru?" Tobi turned to Itachi with what he guessed was a big grin behind his mask.

"Tobi won the contest so he gets to go out on a date with Utada-chan!" Deidara binked.

"...You, WON, a contest? Are you serious, hm?" Tobi nodded vigorously.

"May I ask what kind of contest it was?"

"Of course Itachi-san! It was a play dough contest! They said they had never seen a play dough lollipop look soo - I think they called it unique – before, so they said I won!" They sweat dropped. _'the poor judges probably wanted to get rid of him'_

"Anyway, Tobi is going to go on his date now! Ja ne!" He ran off happily towards the back door. As soon he was out of sight Deidara leapt up with joy and punched the air.

"FINALLY, YEAH! I get a whole night of peace and quiet, hm." Pein chuckled and mentally gave himself a pat on the back. He was glad the judges had understood him clearly.

**FLASHBACK!!!**

_"Hey Leader-sama? Why did you finally let me out of the base, only to drag me along to some child's contest?" He looked down at the confused medic nin with an evil smile._

_"Because Sakura-san, you are going to help me on this mission."_

_"Mission?"_

_"Yes. This is your first mission as an unwilling Akatsuki member." She bit her tongue to hold back the insults that she so desperately wanted to hurl at him right now. "So I expect you to do your best, alright?"_

_"Fine." He nodded. _

_"Good." Sakura was slightly worried. She had not seen Pein act ad the leader properly for some time, and so she was feeling very nervous about this mission. First off, it was her FIRST mission, secondly, the leader himself had accompanied her and thirdly, he had a very evil look on his face._

_"Alright,your mission is to distract the notorious....TOBI!" She fell to the floor in embarrassment. So much for her first deadly mission._

_While Sakura helped Tobi to understand that what he had mdde was nowhere near a lollipop, Pein held the main judge by his throat and ordered them to let the worst entry win._

**FLASHBACK FINISHED!!**

(Tobi's date)

"Hello! I'm Tobi! Pleased to meet you, Utada-chan!" The girl giggled and held out her hand to greet him.

"Hi there! Pleased to meet you too, Tobi."

** ********************************************************************************************************************************************

"I'm bored, yeah."

"Same. Wanna go have some sake with me and Konan?"

"Naah, un."

"..."

"..."

A light bulb appeared above his head.

"Let's go see Tobi's date, yeah!" Kakuzu was out the door in a flash.

"The fucker didn't even wait for us." When he got no answer he realised the other were already gone too.

** ********************************************************************************************************************************************

Tobi was just about to offer his assistance in beating up the pervy photographers for his date, when a masked man beat him to it. The man had appeared in puff of smoke and shoved the men out of the way before holding a baseball cap in front of his date's shocked face.

"Sign it or you'll end up in the trash with those perves."

"Oi, Kakuzu! You bastards! That's not how you treat a lady!" The girl felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Sorry about him, he has no manners, un. What he meant to say was 'could you please sign my hat, I'm a big fan', yeah." A pen was then shoved in her face.

"Could you also sign these shoes, wallets, toilet paper, phones, stuffed toys... oh and maybe you could scribble something on these peices of paper too."

"Deidara-senpai! You soo mean! You ruined Tobi's date!" Deidara just shrugged, obv iously not bothered about poor Tobi.

Once the poor super-star was done signing everything, the others began to drag Tobi away. (not including Deidara)

"Tobi is really sorry, Utada-chan! Tobi didn't mean to ruin the date!" She quickly laughed and grabed hold of Tobi, saving him from the older Akatsuki members.

"Don't worry Tobi-kun, I had a great time. Thanks." She lifted off his mask and planted a small kiss on his cheek. She smiled sweetly.

"You shouldn't hide behind that mask you know? You really are handsome Tobi-kun." Deidara who had turned around wondering why his head wasn't hurting, was now staring at him in shock. He never thought such an annoying person could ever get kiss before he did. Tobi, smiled and thanked her before leaving with his mask hiding his face once more. As he passed Deidara he smirked and let his farcade slip.

"Tobi is good boy." Deidara who was now even more shocked by how much Tobi's voice had changed just stood there staring at the floor, wondering if it was all just a nightmare.

_'you were wrong about girls only liking bad boys Konan-san.'_

****************************************_**********************************************************************************************************  
_

"Achoo!"

"Are alright Konan?"

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks. Must have a cold coming on or something." Zetsu nodded and went back to watch Kakuzu.

"Why did you steal my laptop? Not that it matters, since we never used it." The masked man stared at his wallet greedily.

"Because my cannibalistic friend, this laptop, with the help of e-bay, is going to make me rich."

"I thought you already were rich."

"My mistake then. It's going to make me richer."

***********************************************************************************************************************************************

Sakura laughed as Zetsu turned off the projector.

"Thanks for recording everything Zetsu-san! I knew I'd miss out on something while I was away."

**"No problem!** _How was Sasuke?_ **Did you manage to convince him to leave us alone without breaking down?**" Sakura very kindly ignore his last question.

"For some reason he kept crying and repeating the words 'Itachi', my name and 'no longer a virgin'.

...

Care to ell me what you said to Sasuke-kun, Uchiha-san?"

The shinobi who had been listening to their conversation chuckled and disappeared in an instant.

* * *

**Konnichiwa mina-san! I'm really sorry for the very late update! I finally started on my coursework and although I only did about a page so far, it took me a long time XD (am really hoping the "quality is better than quantity" saying is right lol **

**Anyway, this awsome idea was from **TobiGB! **I liked writing this chapter a lot, it was really funny haha I was going to make Ino the famous person that Tobi got to date. but then ,y friend mentioned a really famous singer from Japan so I used her instead ^^ Thanks very much for the idea! **

**Don't forget if anyone has any ideas that you want to see in this, erm... series? lol you can tell me the idea/s in a review or a PM if you want to, I'll be happy to type it up ^^ **

**perdy pwease REVIEW! (reviews would add on to the fun of the last week of my freedom before I have to go back to school) lol ^^ja ne mina-san! ^^  
**


	23. Traning day, Itachi is teh star!

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

* * *

"..."

"..."

"...hn." Itachi's sudden appearance caused both the possessive Akatsuki members to redirect their glares towards him.

"..."

Both: "YOU LOOKED AWAY FIRST! (YEAH)"

"No you did, yeah!"

"I only moved one eye to see who had entered the room. I still had my other eye on the ice-cream. So technically, it was you who looked away first." Sasori explained in a matter-of-factly tone. Deidara made a disgusted sort of face.

"That's just creepy, yeah."

"Not as creepy as having four mouths."

"Shut up, yeah! At least I'm still human! And anyway, how did you know I looked away, hm?!"

"...My puppet saw you...whatever he sees, I see." Deidara raised an eyebrow.

"I'm that stupid, yeah. I know you can't do that, hm." Sasori looked mildly annoyed that he had been caught. It seemed he had underestimated his blonde rival.

"Itachi-san, surely you saw that Deidara was the one who looked at you first." The Uchiha noted that it was more a statement than a question.

"He was not the one redirect his vision first." Deidara jumped up thinking he had won.

"HAH! See? You were the one to look away first, un."

"No, he did not lose." Both Deidara and Sasori looked very confused.

"Wha?"

"...so it was a tie?"

"aa"

"Dammit, yeah! Now neither of us gets the ice-cream, hm!"

"May I ask who would get the ice-cream if it was a tie?" They both shared a quick lance before turning to face him again with impassive faces.

"Kisame."

"Hn." Of course, neither would let him have the last tub of ice-cream. Both of them shared a great amount of hatred for him. As the ice-cream deprived Uchiha turned away to find something else to eat, Deidara's face lit up in victory.

"I'll go and hand it over to Kisame then, yeah. I don't want that Uchiha getting any of the sacred ice-cream." Sasori nodded an agreement, not noticing the big smile on his partner's face. The agreement was to hand over the tub to Kisame if the rare result of a tie occurred. The agreement had never specified that there had to be any ice-cream in the tub, and so of course, Deidara would be leaving Kisame with an empty plastic ice-cream tub.

_And danna will be never the wiser, yeah._

_****************************************************************************************************************************************************  
_

When Itachi walked out into the garden, (who his comrades liked to call the training grounds due to their pride as manly nuke-nins who did NOT look after plants) he found Kisame staring down in disappointment at an empty ice-cream tub. The shark man seemed so upset at his loss of his favourite dessert, that he didn't even notice Tobi placing a flower ring on his head. It wasn't until Itachi tried to pry the useless tub from the man's hands that he noticed the snickering masked man.

"What the-?! ... TOBI!" Itachi was slightly surprised by his friend's reaction. Usually the man would just rip the flower ring apart and send a death glare towards the Akatsuki prankster. But this time it seemed that his loss of ice-cream had put him in a bad mood.

Tobi tilted his head to the side, looking rather curious. Itachi was curious too. Kisame was just standing there staring at his sword which was now held tightly in his hands. After a while he looked up with a grin on his face and chuckled.

"Heh, seems like Sameheda is eager to slice you apart. I'll give you head start, so you better make good use of the three seconds you got, kid." Itachi had a hard time trying not to smile at his friend's antics.

"One." Tobi was half way down the training grounds/garden flapping his arms around in an attempt to fly away.

"Two." Tobi had given up and had instead decided to just sprint for his life.

"Three!" Kisame opened his eyes.

Tobi was out of sight.

"Heh, looks like I underestimated the kid, eh Itachi-san?" Knowing that Tobi's greatest skill was running, Itachi only nodded, wondering if Kisame would ever find Tobi.

He watched Kisame run towards the back of the training grounds. He knew Kisame would never find him outside, for he could sense Tobi's chakra in the kitchen.

Sure enough, Deidara and Sasori were trying to snatch the cookie jar out of the hyperactive masked man's hands.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

The Uchiha sat back in his chair and stared out at the garden. He sun was just beginning to set and the colours of the sky were already changing to look as though they were tainted red and pink. Everything was unusually quiet since everyone else outside. He enjoyed the rare moments of peace and solitude that he had.

"Oi Kakauzu! What the fuck do you think you're doin, huh?" A bright flash made Itachi blink in slight surprise. So much for his rare moment of peace, ne?

"I'm obviously taking photos, dumbass. Or are you following the Uchiha's path by turning blind?" Itachi pretended not to hear that.

"Hey! That insult is a little too cruel isn't it?! Even I wouldn't compare you to the bastard Uchiha!" Another flash and Itachi's eyes had narrowed.

"hm, nice to know. Now go away before I kill you, Hidan."

"HA! If you know a way to kill an immortal then go ahead and try!"

One last flash.

One sigh of annoyance.

One load victorious laugh.

Two unconscious Akatsuki members hit the ground.

"Idiots." Itachi once again turned back to watch what was left of his peaceful sunset.

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"Dammit! Where'd that brat go?" Kisame was still wondering around the base in an attempt to find Tobi. He wasn't happy when he ended up finding Zetsu instead.

"**What're you doing here?** _It's a garden so he's obviously gardening. Baka_" Kisame frowned and threw the white zetsu a death glare.

"**WHAT?! This isn't a garden! This is a training ground for all manly shinobi. Gardening is gay.** _Is not! Gardening is a way to relax and be peaceful. It makes you one with nature!_ **Geez, there you go with all that 'one with nature' talk again. No wonder why people are so scared of you.** _It's your fault baka! You're the one who eats people!_ **...I'm a vegetarian?** _WHAT?! So now you decide to change your ways huh?!_" Black Zetsu, who wasn't really interested in the fight anymore looked at where Kisame was, or more like where his water clone was. He could feel Kisame's chakra fading fast.

"**Kisame ran away.** _... wha_?"

* * *

"You better have enjoyed having some quiet time Itachi-san. I had to put up with acting stupid and listening to Zetsu's inner arguments."

"hn."

(sigh) "Thank you Kisame, that was very kind of you Kisame, why don't you take a break from training Kisame? Can't you say something like that?"

"No."

**Ehe okay guys, the story is over, you don't need to keep talking you know?**

"Good, cuz I'm hungry...and thirsty."

"Hn."

**Erm, Kisame before you open the fridge and freak out, there's no sake left.**

"...I hate you."

**B-b-but I'm the one who made you one of the stars of the fanfic! Y-you can't hate meh! :'(**

"...Actually, it more like it was Itachi who was the star of the story today. So I don't have a reason not to hate you."

**...How about I make you the star next week?**

"AGREED! I don't hate you ^^"

**YAY! , Anyway, this is the first idea I could think of while I was bored. Yes, I made Itachi the star because I couldn't think of how Zetsu would view everyone. (zetsu was gunna be a rock star! All hail Zetsu! haha) So I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like Itachi much, but I hope you like it anyway ^^**

**Please review and don't forget to tell me ideas if you would like me to type them up n post them in a chapter ^^ Ja ne mina-san!**


	24. Deadly bet! Kisame's life is in danger!

**I do NOT own Naruto! ^^**

* * *

After three weeks of nothing but travelling, killing, nearly bleeding to death and running for their life (while still bleeding) on their missions, the Akatsuki were finally getting some decent rest back at their old base in the country of fire.

Right now, they were all keeping themselves occupied with one thing or another.

Hidan was reluctantly cleaning up the bloody mess left from his rituals, Sasori was rolling his eyes at Kakuzu who - from what his evil grin (meaning yes, he has got his mask off) Sasori could tell- obviously believed that no-one could see him stealing each of the member's money. Pein was trying to explain to Konan that, unlike the others, her attacks for world domination were limited to suffocating certain men...from a distance. He claimed it was for "her own protection." Zetsu was recording the past missions that he recorded (reason unknown), Deidara, who seemed to be pouting, and Itachi were staring at the wall and Tobi was struggling to keep the sake away from the rather hyper Kisame.

"Gimme the sake already, will you?! I haven't had any for an entire hour!"

"Tobi thinks Kisame shouldn't have any more sake today, Tobi thinks Kisame-san is getting addicted to it!"

"No, I'm not! Now gimme!"

"If you two don't keep quiet I'll have you try and explain to Konan why she can't kill anyone with anything other than paper."

"I bet those two would let me fight properly!"

"...Yes, I suppose they would. In that case I'll leave that to someone else...May I ask why you are both fighting?" Kisame continued to jump up and down in an attempt to grab hold of the sake bottle on Tobi's head.

"haha, Kisame-san can't reach!"

"That's because you're wearing stilts idiot!" Konan laughed at their child-like idioticy.

"I don't think they're listening Leader-sama."

"_Basicially, it's all Kisame_ **and his obsession with sake's** _fault_."

"hhmmm, in that case. Kisame! I bet that you can't go for a whole week without a drop of sake." That got Kisame's attention.

"Wha?"

"If you win you get to be leader and you even have Konan as a bonus-" She gasped in horror. "-for a whole month."

"What if I lose?"

"If you lose, you have to spend 3 days with Orochimaru." The blue man paled.

"What if I refuse this bet?"

"You spend the rest of your soon-to-be-miserable-life with Orochimaru."

"I'm in." Ignoring the fact that Konan was glaring daggers into his head, Pein clapped his hands together in delight and smiled evil, evil way.

"Good! Now then, Tobi, you will be responsible for collecting all sake in the base and dumping it outside, Hidan and Kakuzu, since you are the strongest, you will be the ones to stop Kisame from running on a killing rampage, Deidara, you will blast all the sake to bits in front of Kisame." Deidara was gone in a flash.

**_Kisame's Pov_**

The moment I saw the wonderful glass fly high into the air, I knew it would be the end of the world.

They hate me. They all officially hate me.

You want to know why I think they hate me? Maybe it's because of the scheming grin leader-sama had on his face. Maybe it's because Sakura and Sasori helped to keep me from trying to commit suicide. Maybe it has something to do with the evil maniac-like laugh that is currently ringing through my head like some sort of fog horn, courtesy of Deidara.

That's just the start of it.... and I suppose that writing all this down is probably a sign that I'm already going crazy.

Flip. Forget this, I feel like an idiot now, writing in a journal, honestly... AAA!!! WHY AM I STILL WRITING??!!!

I'm going to bed right now!

**_4 days later_**

Well, Itachi has convinced me that this is not a journal but is in fact a story. So that means I'm writing a story about the worst week of my life so everyone can laugh at me?

Great. Just great.

Anyway over the past few days I've figured out that it's not really all that bad to live without sake.

That's if you can call sulking in a corner, hugging a clay version of a sake bottle while crying yourself to sleep "not really all that bad."

...It's a flipping nightmare!

See? Now I'm angry again! I swear writing all this down when I could be seeking out something just as good as sake (please, oh great god of sake, forgive me), it's a waste of my terrible time living through this hell-hole!

Right, that's it, I'm gone.

**_LAST DAY!_**

ONE MORE DAY!!!!

This is the last day of hell!

The moment I get hold of that sake tomorrow I'll finally be back in heaven!!

... I feel like a teenage girl right now...

Really, what is the world coming to?

**_Normal POV_**

Everyone was in the garden (training grounds) to get ready for Kisame's first taste of sake in a week.

"Five minuets." No-one missed the big toothy grin on Kisame's face. Well, how could they?

"So Kisame, how was your week?"

"Hell."

"I thought he'd say shit, but oh well. No sake must have turned him into some fucker or something."

"Oh shut up, will you?"

"No!"

"We thought you took it a lot better than we expected." Kisame stared at Sasori with a blank face.

"You thought I would have done worse?"

"We had the impression you would shred the base and the people in it to pieces in any attempt to find some sake."

"You thought I'd lose?!"

"Yes, that was what I expecting. I apologise, Konan."

"Humpf!"

"I love you really!"

"...Don't I know it."

"1 minuet" Kisame became restless.

"Stations!" Sakura and Itachi were opening up a giant crate, Hidan and Kakuzu were keeping the other one under a barrier-one of the best in all barrier techniques might add, Sasori was counting down with Zetsu and Deidara was trying not to give in to the temptation of blowing both crates to bits. (he had found that blowing up sake bottles was one of the best things to do when bored)

"_10_" One sake bottle was open.

"**9**" Kisame was on his feet.

"_8_" He took a deep breath.

"**7**" Deidara was making a clay bomb.

"_6_" Konan was crying on Pein's shoulder.

"**5**" Sakura was preparing herself for what she knew was to come.

"4" Sasori took over.

"3" Silence.

"2" Kisame looked as if he was trying to stay alive.

"1" Kisame leapt straight past the one bottle of sake and went for the crate instead. His sword sliced through the wood like siccors cut paper, and the sake was gone in seconds. Yet he was still not satisified. He charged at the other crate.

BANG!!! Glass flew everywhere, Kisame passed out, everyone gasped.

"BLOWING UP SAKE IS THE BEST, YEAH!!!"

(sigh) "I knew it."

* * *

**I am sooo sorry for the really latye update everyone!!!!!!!! I've been so busy with coure-work and homework that I'd completely forgotten about it! **

**Anyway I hope this is ok since I was in a rush to write it lol It's another awsome idea from tobiGB! YAY! Thanks for teh idea! (i probs said it already but oh well) hehe**

**Ermz, as usual if anyone has any kl/funny ideas please let me know if you would like me to type it n post it ^^ Hope you like iit everyone!**

**Please review!!!! I will be dead after school if I don't have more than two reviews, n if I dead I can't make ppel laugh with this series (not a good threat but ah well) XD ^^ so REVIEW!  
**


	25. FINAL CHAPTER!

**Hi everyone! I'm very sorry to say that due to the amount of homework and coursework at school, as well a ton of revision to do, I will not be able to write up any more chapters :(**** that means that this is the last chapter ever for Akatsuki in Their Free Time! :(**** I also apologize for the long wait. **

**

* * *

**

The lovable comedy bad guys that everybody just HAVE to love, were sitting around a giant table with a look of disappointment and depression on their faces, an aura that screamed "TEARS, TEARS! TOBI IS CRYING PPEL! HUG MEH!" was surrounding Tobi.

"So, it's true then huh? We're finally being fired by the boss." Although he just admitted it himself, Kisame still had a look of non-belief in his beady eyes. A blonde haired, blue eyed girl nodded her head happily.

"Yup yup! The boss says he isn't getting enough reviews for the show, and he also said that he just doesn't have the imagination to continue." Kisame sighed.

*sob sob, sniff, sob sob* "WWHYYY??!! Why does the boss not like Tobi?! Tobi has made the show funny enough, hasn't he?" :'( Sakura had her hand around Tobi's shoulders in no time. However, unlike all the other times, this was not to throw him out the window or to break his back, but to give him a very comforting hug.

"Don't worry Tobi-kun, it'd most certainly not your fault."

*cough* "It probably is, yeah." *cough* Attempting to keep the amusement off his face, Sasori turned to Deidara to glare daggers.

"Deidara, that was obviously not a normal cough." Deidara pouted at his failure to go unnoticed.

"Damn, yeah."

...

...

..

.

"Awwkwarrd...I'm just gunna leave now." The blonde girl quickly made her way to the door, eager to leave the very depressing room.

"Yeah you better run you F'n Beetch!"" Hidan turned to look at everyone else and sighed. Even Itachi was looking upset.

... A light bulb popped out of no-where over Sakura's head.

"Why don't we let Sasuke come inside and all look over the scrapbook we have? That should cheer us up!"

"Or make us cry." She ignored Kakauzu's mumble and dragged Itachi and Sasori outside to get the barrier down.

They found Sasuke sleeping under the shade of a tree, completely ignorant to the world.

"Hey Sasuke, wanna come have a last dinner with us?"

(Sasori = blank face) "What is this, the last supper?"

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes expecting to see the usual ghost of his mother smiling down at him, but he jumped up and swore when he realised it was Sakura...and Sasori... and, ITACHI?!

"EVIL OLDER BROTHER THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME FOR ME TO TAKE MY REVENGE AND KILL YOU SLOWLY AND PAIN-FUL-LY!" Itachi actually twitched at the sight of the maniac-like grin on his poor little brother face.

"Foolish brother, the show is over for good."

*blink*

*smile*

*shrinks...CHIBEH SASU-CHAN!*

"Ni-san, I missed you soooo much! Tell me how to capture Saku-chan's heart! Tell me how to be a ninja! Tell me to "shut up and grow up you twit!" Niii-saaann!!" :'(

(O-kay)

Back inside Konan and Pein placed the treasured scrapbook on the table with such care that it looked as if the thing was their baby. Deidara turned on the spotlight and as Sasori, Itachi, Sakura and chibi Sasuke came back in, Kakuzu and Hidan turned off the lights.

"We turn to the first page of the book, the start of the amazing Akatsuki."

**FLASHBACK TIME!!!!!**

_A mini Konan sat on the balcony of a tower painting her nails purple with care. _

"_I'm bored" Her new boyfriend, who she loved dearly, looked at her over his shoulder with a bored look on his face (as always)_

"_Start a club then" ... As soon as he heard the nail varnish fall to the ground he knew he made a mistake. He turned around slowly to see a very happy Konan with a evil look on her perfectly adorable face. _

"_OMG! This is going to be so cool! We should call it Akatsuki and invite only the greatest ninjas there are in the world to join!" *blink*_

"_okay?"_

"_AND WE SHALL MAKE THE CLUB'S GOAL TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND FORCE EVERYONE TO PAINT THEIR NAILS PURPLE AND WOSHIP MY WONDERFUL PURPLE HAIR!!" *blink*_

_Yahiko's expression went through the following phases:_

_???_

_WTF?! YOU'RE MAD!_

_...wait_

_This might just work!_

_*evil grin*_

"_Hey guys! Did you hear that?" The other less noticed Pein's nodded their heads happily._

"_WE'RE GUNNA RULE THE WORLD"_

_*a-hem*_

"_With Konan"_

_...???_

"_Konan will rule the world and we shall be her followers. ____" _

"_YAY"_

**END OF FLASHBACK!**

"...Who would've known that Konan was the leader of Akatsuki?" Kisame wondered out loud.

"Obviously not you."

"Well it's not like you knew!" Sasori's emotionless expression turned smug.

"Maybe I didn't, maybe I did."

"STOP TRYING TO BE COOL"

Sakura sweat-dropped.

"Okay, next page.

Akatsuki's first invited member."

**FLASHBACK FOR OUR FAVE SHARK!**

_A cute little ten year old blue boy stared up at the paper angel and her ginger minions with a look of pure utter terror on his face. _

"_Now then my little shark boy, I can see you're about soil yourself, so I will tell you that you do not have a choice in this matter AT ALL!" The purple haired paper angle/mad woman, lifted her arms up in the air and laughed like an old mad witch who had just caused McBeth to go insane._

"_She's telling you to join her club or else she will split your family into many pieces of paper and rearrange them all into tiny little fish."_

_Little Kisame cried his eyes out. "Okay, I'll join" :'(_

**FLASHBACK OVER!**

"HAHAH! And there was me thinking that Kisame was some powerful, super-natural, sake obsessed shark-man! XD" Kisame was hiding under the table from embarrassment.

"Aw, I think Kisame was cute as a little boy." Kisame's head popped up on the table (omg, what happened to his body?!)

"ehe, really now Saku-chan?...KAWAII! I always knew you loved me the most!" A chair hit him in the back of the head.

"Finally I got him, yeah!"

"Okay okay, calm down Deidara. We'll go to the next page now."

**FLASHBACK AGEN!**

"_Join our club, paint your nails purple, wear a gothic cloak, a hat with an eerie bell and worship us!"_

"_Is there money?"_

"_Will you join if there is money?"_

"_yes"_

"_Then there will be money!"_

"_I'M IN!"_

**END OF FLASHBACK!**

...

"You weren't kidding when you said you'd do anything for money were you, yeah?"

"No."

"Ah."

"Ni-san, teach me how to talk in Uchiha language!"

"Hn."

"...Ni-san...I didn't understand that."

"Tobi will turn the next page! Tobi's turn, Tobi's turn!

Why Sasori joined Akastuki."

**ANOTHER FLASHBACK!!!**

_A young boy in a desset held on to his teddy bear as if it were the only thing keeping him from falling off a cliff._

"_I shouldn't have left home Ted, It's hot, I'm bored, tired and I swear that I'm hallucinating._

_Unless you can see seven ginger ninjas grinning at you as well._

_..._

_No?_

_..._

_Okay then, I'm hallucinating."_

"_Join Akastuki or else Konan shall attack you at night and steal your banana."_

_..._

"_Ted, I'm scared."_

_A voice sounded from behind him._

"_I'm Heerraaa!!!"_

"_OMFG I'M JOINING THE CLUB, TURNING INTO PINOKIO AND STAYING AWAY FROM YOUR CREEPY GIRLFRIEND!"_

"_hehe, good call."_

**ANOTHER FLASHBACK OVER!**

XDDDD

"You talked to your teddy bear, yeah!"

"..."

"That's just pathetic! You left home, killed your parents, walked through a sandstorm and yet you talked to your teddy bear, yeah!??" XDDD

Oo

"1. You talked to your hands thinking they could reply.

2. Deidara, I was ten."

"oO ... oh, un"

"Right then, time to see why Itachi joined Akatsuki!"

**ITA-KUN'S FLASHBACK!**

_Danzou and the elders sat high above a young ANBU with their usual bored and freaky expression plastered on their old wrinkly faces._

"_Kill your clan."_

"_No."_

"_Kill the clan."_

"_No."_

"_Kill the clan, minus Sasuke?"_

"_...No."_

"_Kill the clan minus Sasuke and Your-self?"_

"_Ok."_

_.... (many dead people later)_

"_Join Akatsuki and watch your brother become strong and loved by all who are female, and straight."_

"_Yes Leader-sama."_

_Pein let a smirk slip onto his face. __I'll just let him think that, shall I?_

**END OF FLASHBACK!!**

"OMFG! Itachi-san I will kill the evil elders on your behalf and tell everyone how awesome you are!"

"Ni-san!" *Sasuke chibeh with big teary sparkling eyes and cute lil kiddy face.* "You're the bestest brother in the whole world! You killed the clan just for me! 3!!!"

"You're forgetting I did it to save myself from suicide as well, little brother."

"Ah." *Itachi smiles and claps his hands happily*

"Little brother, I have taught you well!"

"Wha?... WOW! Ni-san, you really are the greatest!" *brotherly love hug* (lol no ItaSasu intended btw)

"I think I feel a little bad for being so cruel to you now. I'm sorry Itachi-san."

"It's alright Sakura-san, we were all only acting anyway, right?"

"...oh yeah, we were weren't we? Haha I guess I kind of forgot."

"Hn."

"Tobi's turn again!!!"

"Actually it's Pein-kun's turn to tell the next story." Konan pointed to the very bored boyfriend with a grin. Said boyfriend rolled his eyes and began to read out the memories tiredly.

**YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK!!!**

_A young blue eyed, blonde haired teenager stared at the emotionless raven haired murder machine with shock firmly planted on his face._

"_That was all an illusion, yeah?"_

"_Hn." The shark man beside Itachi grinned._

"_I knew you were good, but I had no idea you could create an illusion within an illusion."_

"_Hn."_

_OO The blonde boy's face contorted into a look of pure hatred. "Are you serious, un?! You really tricked me twice in less than three minuits?!" _

"_Looks like the poor boy just can't believe it. Like I said before, I think he's going to die on us."_

"_THAT'S IT YEAH! I'm going to prove to you that MY ART is SUPERIOR, and steal everything that you love, yeah! That means your girlfriend, your pathetic technique AND your place in Akatsuki, yeah!" _

"_Very well. I will take it that you have accepted the invitation to Akatsuki then." The blonde blinked just realising he had been tricked again._

"_ehe Welcome to Akatsuki Dei-chan."_

_Oo_

"_crap, yeah."_

**END OF YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK!!**

"That was not as amusing as the rest of the invitations. How come Deidara's invitation was so cruel and serious?"

"That my darling Saku-chan, it is because we were trying to be serious in front of the newest and by far the youngest member." Kisame answered Sakura's question in a matter-of-factly way.

"It was also because I had an instant disliking of him."

"Yeah well, I had an instant HATRED for you, un!" Sakura giggled.

"Dei-kun, Itachi-san and the others were jealous of you. You didn't have to put up with Konan and Pein-san for most of your life...only half of it."

"Oh. Ehe, I always knew I was the best, yeah."

"Don't get cocky Deidara. Tobi and Hidan didn't join till they were in their 20's remember?" Deidara's smug face fell.

"You just had to ruin my one moment of glory didn't you danna, yeah?" A vein popped up on the puppet master's head.

"Stop calling me that."

"No can do DANNA, yeah." Knowing he was succeeding in annoying his partner in crime, Deidara made the most innocent smile he could appear on his face.

"Deidara!"

"Okay okay, Sasori is pissed and Pansy is being a... a pansy? Seriously I wanna see why Tobi joined up."

"Very well."

**TOBI'S FLASHBACK!**

"_Tobi wants to be in the same club as Zetsu and Deidara-san, please let me join this youth club Leader-sama!"_

"_No."_

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_WHYYY???! WHY DO YOU NOT LIKE TOBI?! WHAT HAS TOBI DONE TO YOU?! WHY DO YOU WISH TO LEAVE TOBI OUT OF THE CLUB AND LET HIM RUN AROUND LIKE A LONE WOLF?! WHY, WHY WWHHYYYY???!!"_

"_No."_

_(two days later)_

"_WHHHYYYYY?????!!!!!"_

"_...yes."_

"_WWHHY- wait. Really? Tobi can join the club?"_

"_Yes."_

"_YIPEEE!! TOBI LOVES YOU LEADER-SAMA! What should Tobi do for his first job?"_

"_Leave me alone."_

"_Okies!"_

**END OF TOBI'S FLASHBACK!!!**

"So the pest annoyed Pein so much that he gave in?"

"Seems so. The picture here makes it clear."

"Ah. I knew he wasn't strong enough to be called one of the best ninja, yeah. Besides, he never did understand the meaning of art, hm."

"Deidaraa-senpaii!! That's soo mean!"

"Sounds like someone is in denial. In my opinion, anyone who can annoy Pein that much has got to have some sort of amazing mind twisting talent."

"Whatever, yeah." Deidara pouted like a little puppy and within seconds Sakura had her arms latched around him squealing.

"OMG! DEI-KUN THAT WAS SOOO KAWAIII!" Deidara grinned nervously and laughed.

"Th-thanks, yeah."

* * *

"_It seems as though they have left me out yet again, and so I shall_ **tell you all the hard core story of how I came to join Akatuki**! _Well it's not really hard core but_ **IT SO IS!** _Okay, whatever you say._ **Good!**

**...wait, you were being sarcastic weren't you?!"**

**FLASH**_**BACK!**_

_Pein was walking down the corridor of the tower annoyingly whistling away to a tune that his girlfriend has insisted on letting him hear. In all honesty he hated the song to no end, but he just couldn't get it out of head and it was really beginning to piss him off._

_In mid-step he stopped, turned around and was forced to hold back the gasp._

_There behind him was a Venus-fly trap, which he could have sworn was not there before. He stared and stared wondering if it was sort of illusion, but then a head came into sight. A black and white head with yellow eyes and green hair. _

_Pein = Oo_

_Zetsu = oO_

_Both = WTF?!_

"_**Why're ya lookin at me like that for huh?! It's not like I'm strange compared to you or anything! **__That was not nice of you. __**Shuddup you!"**_

"_WOW! A plant man with two personalities and amazing green hair! You must be the best ninja out there! JOIN THE AKATSUKI AND BECOME RULER OF THE UNIVERSE!_

"_Okay. __**YES!"**_

**FLASHBACK ENDED!!**

"_That was not true. You are a liar._** PFFT, yea right. You're the one lying here. You're denying that you're hard core and awesome because you actually LIKE being a LOSER! **_...ignoring you._** No you're not, you're talking now aren't you? **_..._** Hello? **_..._** yoo hoo!? **_..._** Fine then don't talk to me! **_......._** I NEED TO HEAR YOU'RE VOICE SO SPEAK! I CAN'T HAVE FUN BEING A SADIST WITHOUT YOU TALKING!! PLEASE SPEAK! HOW AM I MEANT TO STAY A VEGETARIAN WITHOUT YOU?! **_.._** :'( WAA!"**

*******************************************************************************

"Okay, next is Hidan's turn!"

"NO!!" Everyone stared at the panicked looking Hidan in shock. As he slowly sat back down in his seat and looked down at the floor, everyone had a small evil smirk growing wider and wider on their faces.

"Why Hidan-_chan_, are you embarrassed by your past?" Hidan blushed.

"Maybe."

"Would Hidan-chan like to tell me what happened?"

"NO!"

"How come? Come on Hidan-kun, you can tell me right?"

"I-I was a dorky little blue eyed brat who never broke the rules. That's all I'm going to say."

":("

"No."

:(

"Hidan-san is evil!"

"No shit Sherlock, how'd you figure that out?"

* * *

Once everyone was done taking the piss out of each-other Sakura finally closed the scrapbook and sighed in relief. No matter how much fun she had had with the Akatsuki, she really wanted to go back home, so she was very pleased to be fired.

Looking around at all the now-tired Akatsuki members, Sakura realised that they all looked alot happier than they had let one.

"Ne Kisame-kun?"

"Yes cherry-chan?"

"Why do you look so happy?"

"Cuz I just remembered something funny."

"O-kay, why does everyone else look happy too?"

"Cuz I told them about it through the rings."

"Eh?"

"No matter how unhappy Konan is about it, these rings aren't just accessories. We can use them for telepathy." Hearing this Sakura blinked in surprise and Konan lifted her head slightly to glare at the shark-man.

"So they're all thinking along the same lines?"

"Yup." Deidara burst out laughing; now she was curious. So there was only one way to get information from one of the strongest Akatsuki members.

"Kisame-kun, tell me tell me tell me TELL MEE!!! ... perdy please?"

"Okay."

**FLASHBACK IMAGE IN MIND THANKS TO TELAPATHY THING!**

"_So what do you think of Hidan Itachi-san?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Ok, what do you think of Hidan Tobi?"_

"_Tobi thinks Hidan-san is very mean to Kakuzu-san."_

"_I think they make the perfect couple." Everyone blinked in surprise. Not once had they ever heard Sasori try to crack a joke before. XD_

"_Nice."_

_..._

_*banana above Deidara's head*_

_(WHAT THE HELL, HM?!)_

_*Sorry my mistake, a LIGHTBULB above Deidara's head*_

_(Thank you, un.)_

_..._

"_Zombie twins, yeah." _

_Kisame, Sasori, Zetsu, Itachi, Tobi, Pein + Konan = Oo???_

_Deidara sighed at the thought of having to bother to explain._

"_Kakuzu and Hidan are immortal and are very freaky, un. Therefore they're the zombie twins, as Zombies are freaky and immortal-ish, yeah."_

"_Ah." At that very moment Hidan decided to make his dramatic and very awsomated entry.  
_

"_Yo wassup my fellow Janshinists?"_

"_Hidan, they do not believe in God."_

"_The fuck why not?!"_

"_Because they are not retarded."_

"_That was an insult wasn't it?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Damn you!"_

_(Silence.) Really, being criminals with strange and dramatic lives and all, you would think they'd have more to say, but no, this time it was just boring silence._

_UNTILL, a clash, smash and a strange freaky spyro noise was heard. Everyone looked towards the kitchen curiously wondering the hell was going on._

_When they all heard the sake cupboard door fall to the floor (because yes, that door was so special it had its own sound) Kisame had his hands round a zombie within 1.2 seconds._

"_ZOMBIES?! IS TOBI REALLY SEEING ZOMBIES?!"_

"_Hey Hidan, Kakuzu! Are they the relatives you said you liked so much, yeah?"_

_Both: "WHAT?!"_

"_Told you they'd make a good couple." Sasori was just about to crack another not-so-great-joke when a zombie made to grab his head. The red head just made it walk away towards Kisame's sake cupboard with his chakra strings. _

"_Stay away from MY SAKE!!!" Unable to bend their legs the poor dead and rotting zombies slowly and painfully made their way to the sake cupboard. Just when a zombie reached for the handle a gunshot sounded._

"_Drop the dribble and put your hands in the air, zombies. You're under arrest for breaking and entering on private property!" _

_They all looked incredibly confuzzled, but that didn't stop the Akatsuki from kicking their buts through the door and straight to the back seat of the police car._

"_Where's Hidan and Kakuzu?" Itachi looked around the room carefully, then he looked round the house, then the garden/training grounds and soon he came up with a very accurate conclusion._

"_Hidan and Kakuzu were mistaken for zombies."_

**FLASHBACK THANKS TO TELAPTHY ENDED!!**

Sakura was pissing her-self.

*********************************

"They left meh out of teh second half! Ni-san, go kill em!"

"_They left me out too :(_ **Sissy.** _Hey_!"

* * *

**_The end!_ I really hope it made you all laugh. It took me two days to get this finished! lol In case any wonders, that girl at the start who no-one knows, is my OC. I felt she should get an appearence haha ^^ The ideas in this chapter were from Deviant-master on DA and the cop idea was sort of from **Eternal Grey. **(sorry for changing the idea)** DO NOT FORGET MOST CHAPTERS ARE BASED ON OTHER PEOPLE'S AWSOMATED IDEAS!!!

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and givin ideas! I really am greatful ^^ I hope you'll review this one last time and make me a very happy lil pixie ^^**

**One last thing, I will most certainly be typing up a Christmas special, Easter special (for next year), Liberation day special (holiday in channel islands) AND maybe even a random special to get a few more reviews. BUT they will NOT be posted as part of this story! So please keep your eyes out for me at Christmas!**

**THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE! PLEASE REVIEW! ^^  
**


	26. sorry no chapter VOTE!

**Hello again everyone! ^^ I'm going to start typing up a special christmas chapter for you all and post it on christmas eve/day or maybe the day before since I'm kinda busy. haha ^^ Anyway I've put up a poll for you all to vote for a main pairing or something so if you havn't seen it yet please go to my profile and vote ^^ **

**Just to let you all know, I'm aware that not everyone will like the winning vote (don't know what it is yet cuz only one person has voted lol ((thanks to that person btw i dunno who) so there's still gunna be hints of all the other pairings too ^^ (unless the winning vote ends up being multi saku or something) lol So perdy please,**

_VOTE_****_VOTE_**_ VOTE_!!!! ^^ thanks very much ^^  
**


	27. random oneshot

**I do not own Naruto! ^^ If I did I'd be a million aire...and I wouldn't allow the english dub people to come up with freaky voices XP ^^ This doesn't mean I'm continuing the random story ^^ It just means that I feel really mean for not posting anything when I promised I would. ^^**

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HI EVERYBODY!

All: Hi doctor Ni-

*crash, smash, bang, pow, swearing*

"Get the hell out of here you freak! This is our time to shine!" *cough*

"Now then, this is a very serious problem. It appears that a number of you have forgotten who you are."

"So, Pein, Kakuzu and myself are going to help you all remember. Understand?"

Konan looked down at the floor expecting the seven Akatsuki members to reply with a "Yes Konan." But instead they sat there trying their best to scrape the dark purple nail varnish off their nails. She couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of their disgusted and frustrated faces.

"Why won't this stuff come off, yeah?! I look like an emo! Oo…I'm not an emo am i? Cause if I am I think I'm going to kill myself, un."

"No Deidara, you're not an emo you're a psychopath."

"Hey! That's not nice, yeah! A stranger like you has no right to insult me like that! Tell him purple girl!"

Konan sighed and shook her head. It seemed to her that Deidara was going t be the most annoying one for today. She had expected it to be Tobi or Itachi, but they were both too busy poking eachother in the eyes to say anything.

"Why are your eyes red?"

"That's what I should be asking you."

"Tobi's eyes are red?"

"You're called Tobi?"

"…I don't know. Tobi just say Tobi a lot I guess."

"I see…Yes Tobi's eyes are red."

"Does that mean Tobi's eyes are bleeding?"

"No. I believe someone poured red paint in your eye."

"Oh. They must have done that to you too then."

"Hn."

Looking back to Kakuzu to see if he watching the two Uchiha boys trying to solve the mystery that was their eyes she found saw that he was ducking under a table trying to take cover from the mini bombs Deidara had found in his bag.

While Kakuzu was swearing under his breath, Deidara was laughing maniacally with a giant grin on his face as he threw yet more bombs at the tentacle man.

"hahahahahahaa I has Spider bombs! Fear me you masked terrorist looking freak! FeAr meeeee! Ahahahahahahahaa!"

Konan merely sweat-dropped and walked over to Pein who was rummaging around in the cupboard for some unknown object.

"What are you looking for?"

"Sake."

"Now is really not the time to drink you know."

"I know that. I'm getting it for Kisame. I gave him his sword, and he's not letting go, in fact he's swinging it around in circles saying it looks like a sharks fin circling it's prey."

"Hmmm, he's just as sadistic as usual. It wasn't us who made him like that then, huh?"

"No. Ah! I found it."

"Do you really want to give him that? He might have lost all experience of drinking with his memories; he could be a proper light weight for all we know."

Pein looked at her like she was mad. He then walked over to Kisame and held out the bottle of sake for him to take. Seeing the strange shiny holy looking object Kisame immediately dropped his sword, whom he had now dubbed Samaheda, and carefully took the bottle. He turned it around staring at its glassy green colour in awe and eventually popped off the lid.

He took a sip.

His eyes widened.

He took another sip…then gulped down the whole thing.

"I LOVE YOU SAKEEEE!!!!!! Leader-sama, thank you thank you thank you! I don't know how I could live without knowing the awsomness of Sake and the power of my sword." Pein was just about to ask Kisame to help everyone else remember when he found himself being swung round in circles whilst Kisame hugged him. Pein was outraged. He couldn't be hugged by someone! He was an intelligent anti-social man and being hugged like this was just not done!

"Kisame! Put me down this instant!" Kisame kindly dropped him on the floor.

"Okay. I'll jus put my sake away somewhere safe and help out Kakuzu over there."

"Good."

Sasori was sitting in a corner attatching the head of a puppet to a doll he had found. Of course, Sasori being Sasori, he had already remembered who he was. I mean, it was pretty hard for him not to remember after seeing Deidara bombard Kakuzu with spider bombs much like he had bombarded Sasori all those years ago. However, unlike Kisame, Sasori wasn't interested in helping out the others. He was only interested in watching Zetsu, who had just figured out that he had two personalities.

Hmmm, this should be fun. Sasori picked up a mirror and placed it in front of Zetsu. Zetsu, seeing that he had plant around his head and that his body was half black half white, screamed like a girl and ran. Oo oops…I'll just go talk with Deidara shall I?

Now that Deidara had ran of bombs, Kakuzu and Kisame were trying to lift off the floor and drag him outside. They had the idea that if he went outside and found a giant bag of clay, he'd be sure to remember who he was. Sasori on the other knew this wouoldn't work. And so, he took the clay away and sat in it's place.

"What're you doing? Go back on the lounge, we're busy."

"Why should I go back in there? There's nothing interesting going on. I'm more interested in getting Deidara to remember who I am."

"Oh, so you remember now do you?"

"Of course. I knew from the start."

"Then why didn't you help?!" Deidara wriggled out of Kisame's grip and walked over to Sasori. He'd never seen the guy before, but something made him want to punch him…or even better, set him alight.

"I don't like you, yeah."

"I don't like you either, Deidara."

"Good. Cause I hate you. In fact, I hate you so much I think I want to kill you, yeah." Sasori smirked and stood up.

"Oh? Go ahead and try then."

"Alright then, I will, yeah!" Deidara closed his fist and chucked a bomb at the red haired man. He didn't know where the clay came from, but he really didn't care. There was something about this guy that didn't seem right…didn't seem, real.

"Deidara! Sasori!" Both men stopped and turned around to see Pein. He was standing on the doorstep glaring daggers at them. "Come here.

I will not accept this behaviour. Sasori, you already know who you are, surely, you weren't planning to kill him while he's week? And Deidara, I don't think it would be a good idea to kill your partner."

"Partner, yeah?! I'm with that guy? But why?! He's weird and creepy and his skin looks like wood!"

"It is wood. At least I don't have mouths on my hands."

"Shut up, yeah. It's not fault. At least I can burn you to ashes with my art, hm."

"Art? Art is not fire. Art is eternal beauty."

"Nooo, art is a fleeting moment, like how something is there, and then you set it alight and the next moment it's gone, hm. That's art."

"Eternal beauty."

"Fleeting moment!"

"Eternal beauty."

"…Oo Sasori you bastard! Why didn't you just say that in the first place, yeah?!"

"Ah, you remember."

"Yes I do, Now DIE!"

So, while Deidara and Sasori exchanged insulting words, Hidan wondered round the garden trying to find his inner self and resisting the urge to eat the grass.

"...I'm not a fuckin' donkey am I?"

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**Yo! ^^ Very sorry for not uploading anything :( I've so busy with school and homework and "my future" that I haven't had time to type anything. So since I had some free time today I very quickly typed this up...although it's probs not as funny as any of the other chapters since I kinda rushed it. AND I'm sorry for leaving Zetsu and Hidan out. ^^ Please review if it made you laugh....and also if you like cookies. 'Cause Cookies rock and so does the colour blue ^^ Thanks for reading! N I promise to post a propper chapter/oneshot thing on liberation day (next week) ^^ Bye Bye from meh n teh penguins! ^^**


	28. BONUS Guessing Game!

**I do not own Naruto! ^^ **

**I am truly very sorry for missing all the one-shots I had promised to post on special occasions:'( SO as just a totally random chapter I am writing up a GUESSING GAME! :) I've tried not to make it to obvious who is who so I hope you have a laugh reading it/trying to figure out who is who. ^^ (Had to cut out some of the characters habits, sorry ^^ Zetsu and Kakuzu are a little bit more obvious than the othes I'm afriad ^^)**

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"How the hell could I lose to that mad-man, huh? Everyone knows that Earth beats lightning, it's like a LAW!" (1)

"Oh just shut up will you? You should know by now that I canceled that stupid Pokemon law as soon as I came into power." (2)

"I can't believe that little brat had the nerve to summon us just to make us fight. Anyway, I want to get this over with, so get a move on and fight me aready." (3)

"Now now, we won't be able to summon you guys again, so while you're all here why don't we all have a celebration eh?" (4)

"...I refuse to drink alcohol. I am sure that even a corpse such as me can be damaged by such a disgusting drink...Perhaps you should offer some to Tobi?" (5)

(5.5) "Tobi is a good boy. I refuse on behalf of him, if he were to drink his *cough _already_*cough*_damaged_*cough* reputation would be ruined. (6) Ah yes, we couldn't possibly let him become a 'bad boy', could we now?"

"Oi oi! Are ya gunna fight or not huh? I want to see some real kick-ass moves before I get dumped back in that hell hole again!" (7)

"Oh dear, I hope they don't smash that new vase I got, it was a present from a certain someone you know?" (8)

"Hmm, they are both long range fighters and are week when it comes to close combat, so it might end up as a tie...I wonder, on which one should I place my bet?" (9)

The battle between the two was_ the _battle of epicness. After all the explosions, punches, kicks, wedgies, stamp-on-foot-with-heel tactics and of course the underestimated childish insults, the battle ended just as most of the Akatsuki had expected.

A-and it's a...DRAW!

random unknown people say "NOOOOOOOOO!"/ "heh, too predictable."

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**ehe^^ I really hope it isn't too obvious ^^ Anyway, this is my way of hopefully making somone laugh (somehow) and saying sorry for the lack of one-shots. Any one-shots will be posted as a bonus of this series of randomness so that they will be easy to find ^^ **

**I really hope this makes you laugh, If it does make you laugh then _COMMENT! _**

**And of course you have to comment to tell me who you think is who too! ^^ I put numbers next to each different person so just put something like "Deidara = 6" okay? (he doesn't = 6 though ^^) and in Zetsu's case you'll have to choose which his dark and light side too k? (you can probaby figure him out just by looking at teh nnimbers XP) **

**BYE BYEZ! ^^ **

_review_


	29. Summer chapters! Circle time!

Akatsuki in their Free Time SpecialThe most awsomly awsomated randomness you will ever read!

"Tobi likes crack!"

"I like money…lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lo-"

"Enough, Kakuzu. I like Konan and bossing people around."

"I like purple, flowers and Pein."

"I like puppets…mainly ones that were once alive."

"Fucking creepo. I like swearing, blood, fighting and Janshin…anyone want to join Janshin? If you don't join Janshin I swear I'll frickin' kill you!"

"I like sake, surfing and pretending to be a shark, cause it scares the hell out of everyone…especially Sakura."

"…hn."

"Stupid Uchiha, just hearing your voice pisses me off, yeah. I like art,-" Kakuzu very nearly opened his mouth to stop Deidara from finishing his sentence, but kept his mouth shut when he saw that Pein was already glaring daggers at the two artists. However, the two about-to-argue fully grown men didn't seem to be taking any notice of their Leader, and so Deidara finished his sentence while Sasori prepared to correct him. "-and art is a bang, yeah!".

"No it's not. Art is something that stays the same while everything else changes as time goes by. Art is everlasting." Kakuzu sighed and hit his head with his palm, mumbling an "ouch" under his breath afterwards.

"Nooo, art is a fleeting moment that leaves an imprint in your mind. Art is a bang, yeah." Konan began to inspect her nails, knowing fully well where this was going.

"Everlasting." Hidan started praying to jashin.

"Bang!" Tobi was humming a tune and swinging in his chair.

"Everlasting." Itachi remained stoic.

"Bang!" Kisame sank in his seat and got ready to fall asleep.

"Everlasting." Zetsu watered a plant on the window sill.

"Art is a bang, yeah!" All members of the Akatsuki glanced at eachother…

"Art is everlasting!" and let out a growl of frustration.

"NO! ART. IS. A. BANG, YEAH!" Deidara was already on his feet. His hands were in his clay pouch munching away at the clay making enough bombs to produce an evil suicidal spider army.

"ART. IS. EVER. LASTING!" Sasori had his hands on his scroll of one hundred puppets and his chakra strings were winding themselves around Deidara's neck.

"Shut up, yeah!" Deidara threw a bomb.

"No, you shut up." Sasori summoned his puppets.

"No you shut up!" Another bomb was detonated.

"No you shut up.! A puppet charged at Deidara.

"No. You sh-" A bomb jumped onto a puppet's head and…

"For crying out loud! Shut up already will you?" BANG! Obviously, Kisame had heard enough. Annoyed that their battle had been interrupted, the two artists turned on the great blue shark.

Both: "YOU SHUT UP! (yeah!)"

"AHEM!" I hate to interrupt your wonderful argument, but could we please get on with this special session?" Deidara and Sasori turned to see their leader glaring at them with his all might. His eyes were as cold and cruel as ever, and his fists were clenching and unclenching, trying to calm down. Seeing Pein like this made all the men's weapons vanish with a quiet 'poof', but his signs of anger did not stop Deidara from speaking the truth.

"Leader-sama, no offense or anything, but this is circle time, yeah."

"I agree. If we are going to be forced to take part in such a childish lesson then I think it is fair for us to act like a child as well." Oo No. way. Did itachi just say that? _Itachi?_ …. Les gasp! Itachi has been possessed! Surely!

*sigh* "It's not circle time. This is a special therapy session for you all."

"Therapy? Why the hell would we need therapy? I mean I know those freaks over there need help, but _I_ sure as hell don't."

"Yes you do."

"HAH!"

"You all need help…lots of help. You need help because you're all crazy, scary, freaky, weird, insane, annoying idiotic idiots."

"…Ouch, un."

"Yeah, that f***in hurt man, seriously."

"But Kisame told Tobi that being weird is good!"

"It is good, Tobi. Weirdness is the cure to madness."

"Kisame, I do not understand your logic."

"ehe, no-one does. Now then, where's my sake?"

With that the Akatsuki's circle time- *glares* it is a therapy session.-alright alright, the Akatsuki's _therapy_ session came to an end.


	30. HALLOWEEN! :D just a liitle bit late XP

**I DO NOT own Naruto!**

**I am so, SO, sorry that this is so late! TT_TT It took me a while to write because I'm really bad at writing anything scary, but I still managed to get it done, so please read and review and I really hope this is okay ^^  
**

* * *

Sakura Haruno was quietly wandering around the Akatsuki's 5392nd base shivering and trying her very best not to get freaked out by the howling wind that was rattling the windows and the gutters outside.

**Tonight was Halloween.**

Earlier that night, Sakura had asked to go on a mission near a grave yard just to prove to the original Akatsuki members that she wasn't the scardey cat that they all thought of her to be. As expected, everything had gone smoothly and so she had completed her mission early enough to get back to the base by dark. But when she got back and realised that no-one was at home, she began to feel a little lonely. Then, after about an hour, seeing as no-one was back yet, she started to worry. THEN, at ten o'clock she started to hear all these strange creepy sounds, and she couldv'e sworn that she saw something scurry across the floor from the corner of her eye a couple of time as well. And finally, at eleven o'clock when it began to pour down with rain, Sakura Haruno got scared out of her wits by a lightening strike that came from the ground.

How the hell can a lightening bolt come out of the ground? How could that NOT scare her?

SO, this is when Sakura became too scared to sit in the same place and began to wander around the house aimlessly until someone get back. But, even doing that was scary. Every time she walked, she heard footsteps, and everytime she blinked, everything went dark. And one time when she tried to cover the sound of footsteps by singing, she heard someone else singing along with her! OO :S

'_Okay, so singing won't cover up the footsteps, and whoever it is who is here starts singing along too, so no more singing... **Then how about we go to our room and lock the door? That way no-one can get to us. **NO WAY! Seriously! I can bet you that if we go to our room and lock the door, the intruder will be hiding in the cupboard waiting for us to fall asleep, and when we do he'll slit out throats! **OO OMG! Okay then, we won't do that! TT_TT Errmm... what could we do?...'**_

tap - tap - tap

tap - tap - tap

'**_RUN!' _**

And so, Sakura ran down the hall with all her might. But she could hear the footsteps getting louder and louder, closer and closer, until she was so sure that they were right next to her that she considered closing her eyes and punching the air just to make sure that she was safe. But then she heard the door open and ran for it.

Only to bump into a warm, fluffy type of wall that she swore felt like her favourite winter coat from Konoha.

In fact, the wall was so much like her coat that she gave it a great big hug, and before she knew it the wall was hugging her back! She tried to push herself away from the wall, but the wall grew hands and hugged her tighter. That was when she had the most amazing idea ever. What if, this wall, that had hands and felt like her coat, was in fact, a person wearing her coat! This revelation caused her to look up expecting to see a scary, ugly person wearing a clown mask, but instead she found herself looking up at the face of the blonde loudmouth who had first brought her to the Akatsuki. Said blond smexily smirked down at her surprised face and said in a deep, smexy voice;

"Heh. Missed me, yeah?"

OO '_No, freaking, way.' _"Deidara! Don't scare me like that!"

"Hey! It's not like I meant to. All I did was open the door and then before I knew it you ran into me and hugged me, yeah! It's not like I can order my genes to be less attractive or something, y'know?"

"Geez, don't be so concieted! You're not THAT hot! And I-I have a perfectly good reason for running into you and hugging you thank you very much! You see I-"

"Save the crappy explanation for later pinky and move your ass so we can hurry up and get out the freaking rain already, will ya?"

"Yeah, hurry up and budge it, kid. My sake's gunna get a cold if it stays out here."

"F-fine! I'll move when Deidara moves! Because if you haven't noticed, he's still hugging me!" Deidara chuckled and patted her on the head.

"Poor girl. You're the one who's still hugging me, yeah." Sure enough, she was. She quickly let go and took a few steps back. Now that she could see something other than the coat, she saw that Hidan, Kisame and Sasori were all stumbling over eachother in an attempt to get inside as quick as they could.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Everyone else went to find a window to climb through. They got tired of waiting."

"Oh. I thought you would have been one of them Sasori." The red haired boy sighed and shook his head.

"I may not like waiting, and I may be a criminal, but I would never go so low as to climb though a window like a lowly thief, Sakura-san."

"Oh...sooo...-"

"How did your mission go kid? See any zombies?" Sakura promptly slapped Kisame round the face.

"I told you I'm not scared of things like that! The mission went fine, thank you. What about you? How was your 'mission'?" Kisame grinned a terribly toothy grin and held up two bags of sake in response.

"My mission went just fine. Not so sure about Deidara or Tobi though. They had a bit of trouble getting past all the traps left in your room."

"My room?"

"I took the liberty of going to your home and finding some more things for you to wear, yeah. Seeing you wear the same thing all the time annoy me, hm."

"Oh, I see. Thanks. So then, is that my coat you're wearing?"

"What? Hell no, yeah! I don't wear girls clothes! This is MY coat! I saw it in a shop and just HAD to buy it, un! :D "

"Oo...I swear you're gay sometimes."

"Danna! That's not nice, yeah!"

"I know :)"

"Stop fighting you two. Go help Kakuzu and Tobi get through the window will you? They both tried to get through at the same time and got stuck."

"Pfft, idiots."

"I'll go help, yeah! Hey danna, give me your camera so I can show you how dumb they look later!"

"Fine." With that Deidara ran off to laugh at Kakuzu and Tobi, Kisame left to put his sake away, and Itachi walked through the door holding a giant bag that was overflowing with sweets. Seeing this Sakura gave him a funny look.

"Where'd you get all the sweets from?" Itachi smirked at her and her heart skipped a beat.

"You're never too old for trick or treating, Sakura. You should come with us next time." He walked away and left Sakura standing in the hall with just two things in her mind.

'1. Itachi Uchiha...knocking on doors, asking for sweets = XD LOL lol hahaha Oh Kami, that's a funny thought!

2. **Thank goodness they didn't ask why I was running in the first towards the door in the first place ^^''**

"Saku-chan! Hurry up! We're watching a horror movie together! :D"

"**I want to watch that movie about the plants that eat everyone? **_Do you mean Triffids? _**Yeah!" **

"Noo, I want to watch Jaws!"

"Oh oh! Tobi wants to watch Friday The 13th!"

"As long as it's not The Brood, I don't care what we watch."

"I hope you didn't use my money to buy all these things."

"ehe, nooo. Why would I do such a thing? haha Kakuzu you *cough* Bastad *cough* joker!" ^^'

"Sakura-san, how about we watch a chick flick?"

GUYS (minus Itachi and Leader. They're too cool to shout) = oO "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (F**cking way) (Yeah!)"

Note from Leader-sama: LoOk iNtO mY EyES! :)

**_HAPPY HALLOWEEN! _**mwahahahahaa

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**hehe ^^' I really don't think it's any good. haha ^^ But anyway, this is just a very late Halloween special! :) I tried my best to make it funny. I really did, but if you don't like it I can always try to re-write it, k? ^^**

**In case you're wondering, the footsteps that Sakura can here are her own footsteps. And the voice singing along is her echo. XP Also, lightening can apear from the ground, I just don't get how. It seems really surreal to meh haha ^^**  
**I am also very sorry that it's mainly about Sakura. I know that a lot of people don't like her, it's just that I didn't want to make anyone else silly enough to get scared of their own footsteps. :( AND I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like DeiSaku too. I didn't actually mean to add that in, I guess I just did it unconsciously cuz my friend's been talking about that pairing non-stop latley XP Oh and I tried to add in SasoSaku and ItaSaku too...it didn't work though XP And sorry again to those who don't like those pairing either.**

**Wow, I'm saying sorry an awful lot huh? ^^'Thanks to everyone who is patient enough to add this story to their story alert and to everyone who has reviewed so far! ^^  
**

**SO! Perdy please **_review_** and tell me what you think! Like I said before, if you think I can do better, I'll rewrite it, but I won't know unless you review ^^ BYE BYEZ ! ^^**


	31. Late sequal to Kisame's deadly bet

**I do NOT own Naruto! Sorry for the very, very late seqal everyone! I wasn't going to bother posting it, since I don't like it much, but I promised someone I would, so I am. ^^'**

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Konan was not a very happy bunny.

In fact, Konan was a very _angry_ bunny.

The reason/s for this were simple.

First of all, her so-called-boyfriend had the nerve to sell her off to the stupid alcoholic shark as a part of their bet. Secondly, the stupid alcoholic shark actually _won_ the bet (even though he only won because Deidara blew up his precious sake before he could get to it.), which meant that he could boss her around and treat her like a maid for a _whole_, _Pein-damned_ _month_. (Along with the rest of Akatsuki, but they're not important right now.)

From the moment Kisame became leader he had been bossing everybody around, giving them ridiculously easy/hard missions to do, making them do all the chores in the base (that usually get done by Sakura or some unlucky civilian who had happened to be nearby at the time that the Akatsuki wanted their laundry washed), and all sorts of other stupid little things that he could very well do himself. (eg. "You there! Get me the finest bottle of sake in the village, and bring it to me! …Oh and get me a gold bottle opener too, will you? – "...Fine, ya smarmy blue bastard.")

By the start of the forth week Konan, along with the rest of Akatsuki had had enough of being treated like a bunch of slaves, and so they were going to rebel and get their sweet, sweet revenge on the shark man as punishment. But then they remembered that he was the leader, and as leader, he could punish them however he wanted, which meant that beating him to a bloody pulp was probably not the best of ideas. So instead they decided to hide.

And what, might you ask, did they hide behind/under?

Why a giant, bright neon pink blanket of course!

"Oi, you fucking twat, why didn't we choose a red blanket instead? Or even better, black! Pink is such a pansy-ass colour!" Hidan half whispered half shouted at Kakuzu, who was glaring at the Jashinist with all his might.

"Shut up. I'm not going to the shop and buying you another blanket just because this one's pink."

"But it's too girly!"

"I don't care." Kakuzu ended the conversation by threatening to burn Hidan's necklace, and that was that…for those two.

"Ne, Ne, sempai, sempai! Why are we hiding?"

"Shut up, yeah." Looks like that fight was finished before it even begun.

Itachi watched his fellow criminals and silently shook his head in shame. Of course, Itachi Uchiha was far too bad-ass to hide under a bright pink blanket with the rest of them, and unlike them, he didn't even really need to hide at all seeing as Kisame had treated him as he usually did (with fearful respect of course.). And so Itachi was simply sitting on the sofa watching the others with a look of disbelief in his eyes.

Surely, specially trained ninjas with years of fighting experience such as them would know that hiding under a bright pink neon blanket in the middle of the lounge was most certainly not going to work.

If it were a battle field the group would be spotted from miles away.

Still trying to come to terms with how stupid his comrades could be, he decided to reach deep into the depths of heart and grab a small glowing shard of kindness and use it to help them out a little.

"You are trying to hide in the middle of the lounge."

"Shit."

"Damnit, yeah!"

"Stop shouting."

"Where's the closest sofa, Itachi?" Itachi gazed to the sofa right beside them, and then looked over to the one on the other side of the room and thought for a moment, and then, realising that his little glowing shard or kindness had been used up, he replied by saying-

"The other side of the room."

"Right then…we're going to have to move silently towards the other side of the room, got it?"

"Oi, what're you looking at me for huh? Shouldn't you be telling them that?"

"Whatever. On the count of three, everyone get on your hands and knees and start crawling." Itachi saw the blanket bob up and down as the group of ninjas nodded in union.

"1, 2, 3." And with that, the struggle began.

Kisame had been sitting on his spinny chair in his throne room (the throne room does have a throne, but the throne doesn't spin round and round, so the spinny chair would just have to do until he got Sasori to find him a spinny throne.) waiting for someone to answer the call of his bell for quite some time now…and no-one had come. Which meant that something was wrong.

Which meant that he had to find the others to tell them to find out what was wrong.

So off he went, marching down the long hallway and down the stairs three steps at a time until he came to the lounge.

And in the lounge he was met with quite the sight.

For in the lounge was a giant bright neon pink blanket, and under this bright neon pink blanket was a bunch of little hands and feet, bumping into each other and trying to walk forward, but failing and somehow walking slightly to the side instead.

Looking up at his partner Itachi, who was calmly watching the blanket on the sofa, Kisame took a quick and accurate guess of who was attempting to hide under the blanket and chuckled.

Itachi heard the chuckle, looked up and nodded his head at Kisame in acknowledgement, before going back to watching the show.

"So, I'm guessing that you guys have had enough of me, huh?" The blanket stopped in its tracks and slowly turned around to face him.

"Damn right we have!" Hidan threw off the blanket and pointed an accusing finger in Kisame's direction. "You've been bloody bossing us around like we're fucking dogs or something! Only Janshin can do that you freak! I swear I was just about ready to stoop to the point where I would've crawled around this place with a walky-talky saying "Jaws is on the move!" to Kakuzu and jumping out at you from behind and stabbing you in the back!" Kisame was just about to burst out laughing when Konan spoke up.

"If you think that what you had to do was bad, listen to this! He made me do the laundry! I've never seen so many blood-stained torn up clothes in my life! And I may be a ninja but I am still a girl, and torn, blood-stained clothes are exactly what makes a girl cry! He's a monster! I want my Pein back!" '_So that I can give him a good whack around the head…with a bat._'

And with that, Kisame burst out laughing and rolled around on the floor with tears in his eye.

"Oh God, seriously guys, I never thought you would last this long. I feel for ya', I really do, but that's what you get for separating me from my sake. Itachi got it, didn't ya'?"

"I simply thought you were being stupid." This made Kisame grin.

"Hehe Well, that was partly it. It's a lotta fun watching you all run around trying to find a golden bottle opener, you know? You should try it some time, being the boss that is."

"They will not."

"Pein!" Kisame laughed as Konan ran to Pein, grab his arm and glare daggers at him. He could just feel the 'I-am-so-going-to-hurt-you-when-I-find-my-bat' aura flying around her. Pein just coughed and looked at Kisame.

"I know that it was part of the bet but you have caused far too much chaos for me to allow you to continue being the Leader. I will send you on a solo mission later tomorrow as punishment." Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"A solo mission? I love solo missions, how is that a punishment?" Pein gave him his 'Don't push your luck' look. He may be Pein, the almighty God of the village hidden in the rain (hey look! A rhyme! :D), but that did not mean that he did not follow orders from other leaders. He too had fallen victim to a few of Kisame's orders. One of these orders were grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping! A God does not go shopping in public for vegetables! It is simply unacceptable! He did not care about the others, the punishment he was giving Kisame was for his own enjoyment.

"Your solo mission is to look after Sasuke and Naruto while Sakura is on a mission in Konoha. They have been very grumpy and protective of her lately. Most likely because she has been flirting with people on her missions to get more information on her targets."

OO…"…Crap. Fine. I'll do it."

"You didn't have a choice." Leader-sama smirked and looked down on his shark-like ninja soldier, then looked down on the rest of them who were trying to hide the pink blanket to get some dignity back.

He was God, the leader of Akatsuki, and he was finally back on top.

"Itachi, get me my banana."

"Yes Leader-sama."

_Oh yes, it was good to be back._

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**Well, that's it ^^ I hope it's okay, and not too boring. I usually just stick to dialog, since it's easier, but I found the thought of the great, powerful, infamous Akatsuki hiding under a neon pink blanket far too amusing not to write about it ^^' **

**Let me know if you don't like it/think it can be a lot better, and I'll try and re-write it if I can find the spare time :)**

**I'M GOING TO FRANCE AND GERMANY NEXT WEEK~! :D It's been forever since I've been to France, so I can't wait to go back there, and I've never been to Germany before so I really can't wait to get there either :) I am a little worried about the 'Germans-have-no-sense-of-humour' stereotype though... ^^' **

**..Oh great, I've got the hiccups. xP  
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**ANYWAY, sorry if it's not the best, by please, please, please REVIEW! I always end up grinning like the Cheshire Cat when I read reviews (both good and bad), so it would awsome to get some new ones ^^ Thank you for all the reviews, story alerts and favourites so far! Au Revoir/bye bye! ^^ :) **


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